Worth It
by Magnus Glitter Bane Alec
Summary: The world is not what it seems. It does not consist of things that mundans can see. It consists of what they can't. Alec can see. Alec sees everything. He was born to see after all. Because one thing is for sure. He is not a mundane. But then again neither is a certan cat-eyed Warlock. AU
1. Prologue

_So I have gotten requests to start a new story now that Different is coming to an end. And that is how this was born. I have no idea where I'm going with this but I hope you like it. So here you go._

_By the way I am stealing wifi from my grandmas neighbor and am posting from my phone for the first time ever so I'm sorry for any mistakes I make. Yeah okay that all. Enjoy now._

The streets of New York were as busy as ever as the afternoon sun shone high in the sky, casting its warmth down over all the people rushing around.

Everyone was moving with a purpose—somewhere to go, something to do.

Well, almost everyone.

There was one boy who stood out from the rest. A boy with golden hair and golden eyes. A boy who was just standing in front of a café. Standing and watching. Eyes not wavering for even a second.

That, however, wasn't the reason he stood out. Not really.

The reason he stood out was not noticeable to many. Only to the special ones was he noticeable. Only the ones with magic in their blood saw him. Someone like him.

For he was not just an ordinary mundane. Far from it, actually. His big beautiful feather-covered white wings that are extended from his shoulder blades were proof enough of that. The wings that were getting bigger and bigger without him even noticing as seconds passed by.

However, that wasn't the only thing he didn't notice. He also didn't notice a black-haired boy walking towards him. A black-haired boy with a scowl on his face...

"Your wings are growing again," I hissed into his ear as I stopped right next to him.

He jumped in surprise, obviously not expecting anyone to talk to him.

"Alec! I didn't see you. Don't do that." He scolded before turning back towards the café, folding his wings back all the while until they were neatly creased against his back again. Like they were supposed to be in the first place.

"Of course you didn't see me. You're stalking her again." I said in annoyance, rolling my eyes. I cast a glance towards the red-haired girl who was sitting in the café. She was laughing with her nerd friend, completely unaware of us. "When are you going to stop stalking her? It's been a month."

"I'm not stalking," he argued, but it wasn't all that effective considering the fact that he was still staring at her.

Not stalking. Yeah, right.

He has been practically obsessed with the redhead since the first time he saw her a month ago.

I honestly can't understand why. She's nothing special. Just an ordinary mundane. I can point out three just like her if I look around right now.

But, unfortunately, he seems to see something I don't, considering the fact that he has been stalking her all day, every day. It was annoying as hell. I don't even know her, but I already hate her.

Clary. What kind of a name is that anyway? I snorted inwardly.

"Jace, we can't show ourselves to them. You remember that, right? We are only here to—"

"—watch. I know." He sighed.

"—observe." I finished with a scowl. "Their lives are not TV shows for us to watch."

"I know," he said. "I'm not going to do anything. Don't worry."

"Good. Now let's go—Izzy is waiting for us in the park."

"But why?" he whined. Making me almost start laughing at how out of character that was for him. But when he finally looked at me, I fought it down. The last time I laughed at him, he almost broke my arm. Some parabatai he is.

"Because I say so. Now come on." I pulled him by the arm, and luckily he followed without a struggle.

He did, however, look over his shoulder back towards the café until it was out of sight. Making me sigh.

I kept glancing around as we walked. Observing. Watching people laugh and cry. Feeling individual people's distress, or happiness, or sadness if I stopped and concentrated enough to fixate on only that one person.

Because that's what we do. That's what we are here for. We observe. We protect. But we are not allowed to interfere.

It's the one thing we can't do under any circumstances. It's against the Law. So we can only watch them. Feel what they feel.

But that's okay. It's our job. That's how it always was and that's how it always will be.

Because we are not mundanes.

We are angels.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_So how was it? Do you want me to continue? I think I have an interesting plot to go with this. And yes I couldn't resist. I guess I have a thing for angel fics. Hopefully this didn't end up as bad as I think it did. Oh and sorry it's short._

_Anyway review my lovelies. Hopefully you like it and want me to continue._


	2. Chapter 1

_Yay the second chapter is done. It's slightly longer this time. And sorry I didn't update earlier. I wanted to but had to decide something about this story first. And now that I have here you go. Hope you like it._

Jace and I were now walking side by side. The café was far behind us as my blond parabatai kept complaining about it being unnecessary for me to drag him to the park.

Which was not true, and we both knew it.

We got to the park rather quickly, but as we did, we also got a lot of curious glances our way. Feeling all the eyes on us made me uncomfortable. I shrank into myself as much as I could and tried to hide my wings by folding them as much as possible, to the point where it began to hurt. Even though they couldn't see, I was still never completely at ease with it. Even after so many years.

So I just sighed and ducked my head as I continued walking.

"You are standing out too much," I hissed at Jace, who was practically glowing golden under the afternoon sun.

He just shrugged. "Not my fault I'm hot."

I groaned and walked a little bit faster, trying to get at least a little ways away from him. But he just caught up with me, even though he had to half jog to do so, considering that my legs are longer then his.

As we neared our destination, I sighed in relief. Finally spotting who I was looking for got me practically sprinting. There, under a tree by the fountain, sat a girl with long black raven hair that was currently caught in a slight breeze.

When you first look at her you think she's a sweet and quiet girl. A girl that needs someone to take care of her. A girl that can break a guy's heart.

That thought only lasts until you see her eyes. The gray eyes that challenge everyone and anyone she looks at. Eyes that make you see that she is not a sweet and quiet girl. That make you see that she is most definitely not unable to take care of herself.

And I should know that better than anyone. She is my sister after all.

"Finally!" Izzy exclaimed as we stopped in front of her, making her look up. "What took you so long? Were you stalking her again?" She inquired, looking at Jace now.

"What is it with you two? I don't stalk," he argued, but both Izzy and I rolled our eyes.

"Yeah…Keep telling yourself that," she whispered sardonically.

"Whatever." Jace gave up, knowing that he can't win when Isabelle's in a mood. "So why was I dragged here, exactly?"

"Because we have a job to do. And you haven't been doing it at all lately," Izzy explained pointedly.

"What do you mean by that? I've been watching."

"Watching one person doesn't count. We have to keep them all safe," Izzy argued before grabbing his forearm and pulling him to her while I just stood there and watched in amusement. "So that's why you're going with me today."

"What? No!" he complained, looking at me with urgent pleading eyes. "Alec. Please save me. Why can't I go with you? I want to go with you."

"Sorry Jace." I gave him a not-at-all-apologetic smile. He brought this down upon himself, after all. "No can do."

He groaned. "But.."

I didn't hear the rest of what he said. Something I had glimpsed from the corner of my eye had caught my full attention.

Cat eyes.

Bright gold and green cat eyes that were focused on me.

I gulped and shifted uncomfortably, but the eyes remained staring solely at me. Sharp and focused, and distracting me.

And then I blinked and they disappeared. He disappeared like there was no one there to begin with.

I shook my head slightly and struggled to get my attention back to my siblings. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up uneasily all the same.

"No buts. Come on, let's go. Bye Alec," Izzy called to me as she pulled Jace away.

"W-Wait," I stuttered, trying to get out of the sudden daze. "I'm coming too."

Jace mouthed a 'Thank you' in my direction as I caught up to them and Izzy just eyed me before shrugging. "Whatever you want."

I nodded and we started walking. Passing through crowded streets and just watching. Moving from one person to another so fast that it could only be achieved by years and years of practice. Moving from happy to sad to depressed to suicidal to nervous to excited to guilty to ecstatic until our heads are hurting and our minds are spinning. But it's not a new feeling, so we just keep going. Because we need to make sure that nothing supernatural is influencing their lives in any way. On and on we go.

We keep going until we can taste it. Until we can see that green glow.

Every demon, or even half demon or less, leaves it when they have some kind of contact with a mundane. The glow marks their territory. It shows that the marked individual is theirs. And that is something that we can't just let happen.

Luckily, it hasn't happened in a while. Downworlders are getting scared now because punishments are getting greater. And that's good. Downworlders leaving mundanes alone is good.

As we walked, I kept seeing them again and again. The eyes. Cat eyes. Watching. But only for a second at a time. One blink and they're gone.

Maybe it's the heat. Maybe I'm hallucinating; I thought when I got away from Jace and Izzy, much to Jace's dismay. But I had to get away for a little bit.

So I went to the only place at which I felt safe. The only place at which I will ever feel safe.

To anyone else, it wouldn't be anything special—just an ordinary rooftop on an ordinary building. But it's not just that for me. For me, it meant safe. It meant waiting. It meant everything.

And that's just what I did: I waited. Every time I come here I wait. I wait, and I watch. But it's always safe here. Every time.

My wings were stretched as wide as they could be. The slight breeze felt heavenly as it passed over the sensitive feathers. I had always loved that. It was one of the reasons why I came here in the first place. There was always some kind of a breeze.

So I just closed my eyes and enjoyed it what seemed to be a beautiful spell.

"Well, hello there, beautiful," boomed a voice from somewhere behind me.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_So that's the second chapter. The third one will be fun. I bet you have tons of unanswered questions now. But I'll have to leave you in suspense for a little bit longer._

_Anyway I am going to be posting once a week. If possible twice but I can't promise anything. So yeah that's it for now._

_Review my lovelies._


	3. Chapter 2

_I kind of feel sentimental today because of Different (even though it has only been a few days). Anyway because of it I feel like I just need to post today. I'm too used to it. So I decided that yes I will post today._

_Here you go. Hope you like it._

"Well, hello there, beautiful," boomed a voice from somewhere behind me.

I could feel a presence at my back getting slowly nearer. A small smile tugged at my lips even as I refrained from turning around.

"God, you know how much I love your wings, Alexander," he practically moaned, and I barely kept myself from laughing.

"Hi, Magnus," I greeted him quietly. But I knew he could hear. "Why are you here?"

He chuckled, and I could clearly picture the smirk that was surely occupying his face right now.

"Why, I'm here to beg my darling for a kiss," he murmured from directly behind me before leaning forward so that I could feel the heat radiating from his body and seeping into mine. "I missed you," he whispered into my ear. A shiver ran down my spine at the tone of his voice. He was so close to me, yet so impossibly far away.

"I missed you too," I replied softly. Even knowing precisely why I shouldn't respond like that, I was completely unable to stop myself.

And then I turned my head and looked back at him. Of course, it was the biggest mistake I could have made. Just like I knew it would be.

Seeing him made my heart beat faster. It happened every time—there was no getting around it. My breath hitched slightly as my eyes looked him over without my consent. First were the sinfully tight white jeans that left nothing to the imagination. Then came the blue shirt that I knew all too well and that sure as hell wasn't just another piece of clothing to either of us. Lastly was the eyeliner… The black around Magnus's gold and green cat's eyes made them even more noticeable than usual.

By the Angel, he is going to kill me one day, I thought, only for my mind to go blank a second later when his hand came to rest on my upper arm.

That one small contact between us, after so long without any at all, made my whole body warm and almost stopped my heart.

His long fingers wrapped themselves around my arm like they were meant to be in what was seemingly the most normal and perfect position in the world. And all I could do was close my eyes, because this is against the Law. In no way is this supposed to be happening. I shouldn't be reacting like this. Magnus shouldn't have this effect on me. But still…He does. He always has.

For more than one hundred years now.

He turned me around abruptly. Putting his arms around me tightly, careful not to touch my wings, he pulled me to his chest in an embrace.

"Magnus…" I breathed out. But there was something unspoken in my voice that we both knew.

"Don't you dare," he growled into my ear. "Please. Just… Just for a little while. It has been two years. Just let me hold you for a little while."

I felt unshed tears in my eyes, but I didn't let them fall. I couldn't.

This was the moment I was supposed to pull away. I knew I should. But I didn't. I couldn't. By the Angel, I've missed him so much.

Before I knew it, my arms were around him. My head was resting on the crook of his shoulder as I took in his all-too-familiar scent. He set his chin on my head in return as a sad sigh escaped his lips.

I don't know how long we stayed like that. But neither of us was willing to let go, so we didn't.

"How did you get away?" I asked, reluctantly breaking the silence. But I needed to know.

"It wasn't that hard," he joked. "They are really bad at tracking."

I nodded slightly before slowly starting to pull away. Everything in me screamed not to move, but the logical part of me knew I had to. If I stayed any longer I don't think I would ever be able to let go again. And that is something that can't happen, because I need to let go. This isn't right. This will get us both killed.

The tears were back, and they only got worse when I saw his face. He was in no better shape than I was.

"Alec, please…once," he begged, the pain clearly visible on his face matched how I felt at that moment.

"Magnus…"

"Please," he breathed again as he pulled me close so that his lips were near mine. I could feel his hot breath on my skin, and it was killing me from the inside.

Why? Why does it have to be like this? Why do we have to suffer like this? I knew the answer to every one of those questions, and that killed me even more.

"Please. Alexander…" he whispered, before pressing his lips to mine.

Despite the tears that were now falling freely from my eyes, I closed them as I kissed Magnus back. I loved the feeling of his soft lips on mine, of his arms around me, and of his body pressed against mine. It felt safe. It felt good. It felt like coming home. After so many years…I was finally home.

If this was one of the fairytales mundanes tell to their children, there would be a 'And they lived happily ever after' right about now.

But this isn't a fairytale.

And so the only thing we had was pain as I reluctantly pulled away and broke the kiss. I missed the contact immediately, but I knew that it couldn't happen again.

I have to go. I thought it, but I didn't voice it out loud. He knew anyway, because he could see it in my eyes. He always knew that every moment together was a stolen one.

So he did what he does every time: He kissed my forehead lightly, a barely-there touch that made my eyes close again. I wished that time would stop, so that we could stay like this forever, and I wished for our happily ever after that I knew we will never have.

But for that one moment I could pretend. So that's what I did.

I pretended that I could stay. I pretended that what we had wasn't wrong. I pretended that we have a happily ever after waiting for us.

But then the moment was over, and my hopes were shattered just like every time before as his lips weren't pressed against my skin anymore.

"I love you," he whispered before pulling away fully.

My eyes were still closed and my heart clenched painfully at his words. A soft sob threatened to escape my lips, but I choked it down.

I didn't say it back. I never do.

So I just opened my eyes and looked at him one last time before turning back towards the edge, getting ready to fly away. And that's exactly what I did. I flew up to the sky and left him behind with a torn heart. I didn't dare to look back. It hurt too much as it was. But we don't have a choice. We've never had a choice.

I just left in silence, feeling his eyes on me as I did.

Neither of us said goodbye.

We never do.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_So are you surprised? Didn't expect that one did you? Are you confused yet? Or did I actually explain something with this? Hopefully I did. But yes I know I have a lot of explaining to still do so you'll just have to wait until the next chapter which will hopefully come soon. I would say sorry for breaking your hearts with this but I am so not sorry. I am very very far away from sorry._

_Oh By the way is anyone here reading All Fall Down? If so, sorry for not updating for a while. Do you want me to? I think I can try and make some time for it this week…? I don't know… I'm going to try but no promises okay._

_Well anyway for now review my lovelies._


	4. Chapter 3

_Sorry for the wait but here it is now. It's short but I hope you like it._

The room was black. The dead of the night not giving any light through the closed window. But still there was a strange glow lingering on the bed. A strange red glow that made the blue eyed boy on the bed sigh. Red reflecting in his eyes as he looked at his outstretched hand. Watching as transparent red lingered on his skin like poison. But still at the same time... It felt safe. It made him feel like he belonged somewhere for even a little while.

Even if he couldn't be where he belonged…

"Demit I'm wishing again." I muttered under my breath as I put the bracelet back on, efficiently dispersing the red glow. Leaving me in a pitch black room again.

It was a simple thin black leather bracelet. Something that blends in and doesn't raise suspicion to why I wear it all the time. Why I haven't taken in off for two years now. Mostly people don't even notice I have it.

But every time I see it my heart clenches in longing.

Magnus gave me that bracelet. He enchanted it and gave it to me so glow can't be seen by anyone. The glow that shows that I'm marked by a Downworlder. By someone with demonic blood.

Mundanes have the green glow. But angels…Angels have a red one and are cast out the second it shows. It is the biggest crime you can do. And by that it is punished severally. Death is too soft of a punishment. No. They do something worse.

The make you fall. They make you a fallen angel. Cast you from your family and from your life in shame. They turn your soul black and leave you alone between mundane for all eternity.

It could have happened to me. It would have happened to me. But Magnus made sure it doesn't. That last time I saw him two years ago he made sure I'm safe.

And every time I see the bracelet it hurts. It has been hurting for two years now. But after I saw him today somehow it hurts even more.

He was here. He was with me. And I could have stayed. I could have easily ran away with him. Away from this cursed life so I can finally be happy.

But I can't put myself through that again. Put us through that.

We were foolish enough to think like that once and look where it got us. It got us three days together and two years apart.

But even so…I can't find it in myself to regret it. I can't find it in myself to regret those three days. It were the best three days of my life and even with the consequences I wouldn't change them for anything.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Aaand done. Next chapter will be the flashback basically. I promise it will be longer. The longest chapter for this story so bare with me on this one. Anyway you will finally see what actually happened. Sorry for the crappie chapter by the way. I knew what I had to do just didn't know how. So yeah that's it for now. Hopefully I will update faster next time. Maybe even tomorrow, you know to say sorry for this. You never know…_

_So review my lovelies._


	5. Chapter 4

_Sorry sorry sorry. I really didn't intend to have you wait this long. I was really supposed to post it the next day but I kind of started a new fic. And first time ever it isn't malec and I kind of might have gotten carried away. But don't worry I'm not neglecting this one. Sorry for not posting last week but it won't happen again I promise. _

_Anyway without further ado here you go. Hope you like it._

It was dark and rather cold as I made my way through the abandoned streets. Trying to be as unnoticeable as possible because this part of town is dangerous to be found at. Even if I can take care of myself just being seen will ruin everything in a second.

The wind was so strong and cold that at this point I had my wings wrapped around me as I determinedly kept going.

Just a little bit more. Almost there. Not long now.

With every step closer to my destination my heart was beating harder in my chest. My whole body feeling more and more excited because I'm almost there. Almost free.

A sudden blue light lingering from one of the closed doors on surrounding buildings snapped my head up to look at it, hurrying my pace as I did.

"Magnus." I called out as I grabbed the doorknob and turned it, the door swinging open as I did. Reveling a man standing in the middle of a dark room. A man with black hair and a lean body that was currently covered in black clothes. Looking a lot different then he usually does.

A figure turned and gold and green eyes met mine. A spark that I haven't seen in a long time now very strong in them.

"Alexander my love." He greeted me with a smile but it sounded more like a sigh of relief. Considering the circumstances I guess it was. "You came."

I returned his smile, relaxing a little myself now that I'm actually here. There wasn't even a little part of me that didn't want this. That wanted to back out. Actually I was craving it. Needing to get away as much as I needed to breathe. And the fact that it will only be a few minutes more made my heart beat faster.

"Of course I came. It's you." I looked at the floor at the last part. Still not used to saying things like that. I don't think I ever will be.

A hand is on my wrist a second later. Warm fingers curving against it softly before I am pulled forward. My chest hitting his as his arms go around me. Soft sweet lips covering mine in a kiss that is full of love. A kiss that I never want to pull out of.

"We're almost free darling. You ready?" He whispers into my ear after the kiss, sending pleasant shivers down my spine as his hot breath hits my skin and all I can do is nod.

"Good." He whispered again with a smile before pulling away. Still not letting go of my hand. A fact that made me smile and be even surer about my decision.

"Let's go then darling. Our future together awaits." He said cheerily as he pulled me towards the illuminating blue light that was the only source of light in the room. The blue light that was coming from a portal that Magnus made against one of the walls.

A portal that is our way out. Our way to happiness.

We looked at each other one last time before stepping inside. Leaving our old life's behind without a second thought. Because it is not worth the pain. Nothing is worth the pain of craving and needing to be together but not able to. Of loving each other but not being able to say it. Nothing will ever be worth it. And it is about time we get a piece of happiness too.

…

It was a slow night in Paris. A night that makes you just stop and stare because you can. Because you have the time to do so. And the first time in my life it was true.

I let out a sigh as I leaned onto the railing on the balcony of our hotel room and just let my gaze linger on the beautiful sight of the city below.

My mind wondering to everything I just left behind without a second thought. Of my brother and sister that didn't even get a goodbye. They must have noticed that I'm not coming back right about now. I wish I was able to say something so that they don't get worried. But I couldn't. I let out another sigh at that.

"What are you sighing about?" A familiar low voice breathed into my ear as strong hands wrapped around me and warm chest was pressed against my back beig carefull with my folded wings all the same. "Aren't you happy?" There was uncertainty in his voice that you don't get to hear often.

I smiled at that and covered his hands with mine in reassurance. "I am. Of course I'm happy. I'm with you aren't I?"

I looked over my shoulder and saw him happily smile at me but the uncertainty was still lingering in his eyes. "Then why are you sighing?"

"I feel bad for leaving Jace and Izzy to worry." I admitted sheepishly and instantly his smile softened as he looked at me with so much love I thought my heart will surely stop if it keeps going so fast. Is it even possible to love someone so much?

"Of course you do." He cherished my cheek lightly. "Your selflessness is what I love most about you."

"I'm selfish right now." I reminded him with a smile. My back pressed against the fence by this point.

"You are. And I couldn't love you more for it then I do at this very moment." He leaned so that our lips were almost touching. His warm breath hitting my lips. "I love you Alexander." He whispered and if there was ever a moment that had to be stopped and lived in forever it would be this one. I felt like melting in happiness from the words.

We never said it before. He always implied it but never said it upfront. To hear it felt even better than I could have ever imagined.

I kissed him then. Closing that little gap that was left between our lips. Unable to say it back yet even though it's true. I love him. I love him more than words. But I still can't make myself say it. The rules were still pulling me down. But I will get there. I will tell him one day. I will.

He knows though. He has always known.

We made love for the first time that night.

I didn't know it at the moment but it will end up being the last one too.

I snapped out of my thoughts. Remembering everything again.

If I'd have known I would have done something. Anything to change what happened later. But still I wouldn't change what we had in that short time for the world.

Next morning I woke up glowing faintly red. A sign of being claimed by a demon. It should have made me worry. Made me react badly but all I could do was smile. Because it's Magnus. It's a sign that Magnus is mine and I am his. And I couldn't do anything at that but smile happily as my heart warmed up.

Waking up next to Magnus is the most perfect thing in the world. And I had it for three days. Three beautiful mornings filled with smiles and lazy soft kisses. Filled with laughter and happiness. Making me want more. Making me selfish for the first time in my life because I didn't want it to end.

But it did end. Everything has to end.

We were hoping it won't. We were hoping and praying that we will be left alone. That we will be left to continue living like we did those three days. Happy and easy. Perfect.

But we should have known better. We shouldn't have been so stupid because it wasn't long before they found me.

They didn't know why I disappeared. They didn't know about Magnus. All they knew is that I'm gone and I need to get back. And just like that our little paradise was shattered.

He managed to sense them coming though. Not fast enough for us to have time to disappear. But just enough for him to charm a bracelet so it hides the glow.

Mere seconds after I slipped it on the door opened forcefully.

We didn't even get one last kiss or a goodbye before he was forced to run. And run he did. For two months. He ran from angels for two whole months. Two months that he was away from me. Two months of no contact what so ever. It was hell.

They didn't know what happened. They just saw a half demon and an angel that went missing without an explanation.

They didn't ask for explanations and I didn't give them any. They just assumed that Magnus is the bad guy here. And I was unable to say otherwise.

And just like that they brought be back home. Home that never felt that much of a home in a long time now. Because there is no home without Magnus. It has been like that for far too long.

Izzy and Jace were worried and asked questions to which I couldn't give them an answer so they gave up after a while. Seeing that I won't talk. I was grateful for that.

But still…It hurt. Going back, pretending like nothing happened hurt.

How can you go back to hell after you had a taste of haven?

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Sorry for that but this is a T rated fic so no smut. Even though if you want I can write it as a oneshot when I find the time. Do you guys want me to? So anyway I know it's not very good but I hope you like it and will review. Told you it will be the longest chapter so far. Hope you are not disappointed with it and again sorry for the wait._

_Review my lovelies._


	6. Chapter 5

_Happy Valentine's Day guys! I wasn't supposed to post today but then I thought that why the hell not. Its valentine's day and what better way to celebrate it but by giving you a Malec filled fluffy chapter. Well kind of fluffy. But anyway to cut my rant short, here you go and hope you like it._

The stars were shining brightly on the dark sky. It looked so beautiful I just couldn't look away. Looking up at the twinkling stars while warm summer breeze rustled my feathers but it felt nice.

"Beautiful isn't it?" A voice asked beside me making me smile. I heard the footsteps as he first arrived but I was waiting for him to say something first. I always do.

"Yes it is." I breathed out. Glancing toward him at the corner of my eye, noticing a soft smile on his lips and a spark in his eyes as he looked up to.

Noticing I'm watching him he fully turned to me and pulled me into his embrace. "But not nearly as beautiful as you darling."

I blushed but wasn't able to say anything in response-scold him probably for saying that all the time-before his lips were pressed against mine.

It was a gentle kind of kiss. A kind of kiss that makes you feel like you're about to melt. A kiss I should be used to by now but wasn't. I don't think I ever will be. Our lips fit together perfectly and I didn't hesitate in kissing him back. I haven't hesitated for more than eighty years now.

"Good evening Alexander. Always a pleasure." He said as we pulled apart and I couldn't help but laugh at the cheesiness that was accompanied by a grin.

"Evening my fine sir." I bowed my head slightly going along with it and we both ended up laughing.

"So for how long can I have you?" Magnus asked, unintentionally tightening his arms around me a bit. I didn't mind and just sent him a small smile.

"Three hours is the best I could do." I said, smile turning sad at the short time we have after a few days of being apart. But it's always short time. We can't afford longer. We can't take that risk.

"Okay great." He turned cheerful but we both knew he is as sad about the time slipping through our fingers as much as me. We never do seem to make it slow down enough. It passes way to fast. "Best get going then. I have something special planned for you tonight."

"Oh do you now?" I teased with a smile as I let him drag me forward with him.

"It is Valentine's day after all." He sent another warm smile my way, pulling my hand that was in his to his lips and kissing the back of I softly.

"You know I don't celebrate that." I said but didn't care much for it anyway. If Magnus wanted to then I did too.

"Humor me."

It wasn't a long walk. It only took a few minutes before we got to a park and Magnus stopped before entering it. Covering my eyes with one hand.

"Magnus what-" I started in contusion but he silenced me with a quick kiss.

"Trust me will you. I won't let you bump into a tree or anything. Trust me?" He asked in a whisper, sounding a bit like he's afraid of the answer.

"Always." I answered with a smile, letting him maneuver me forward. And after another quick kiss he did.

As promised I didn't run into a tree as he led me ahead with one hand still cowering my eyes and the other on the small of my back. And then we stopped again.

"Okay. You can look now." He let go of me and uncovered my eyes, doing it almost hesitantly.

The second my eyes were open I gasped at what was before me.

We were surrounded by trees that had lights covering them and making the dark night a little less dark. Flowers were everywhere and in the middle of it all was a picnic blanket with food on it. Fireflies flying around freely. It looked so…magical.

"You didn't have to do this." I said as I turned to him, eyes still slighter wider than normal because this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.

"Do you like it?" He asked ignoring my comment. "I was thinking about buying you flowers but you would have probably hit me with them."

I laughed in pure happiness only Magnus can make me feel and hugged him tightly. "I love it."

I felt him smile against my shoulder. "Good."

"Alec!" A loud voice called me, snapping me out of my thoughts. And just like that I was once again I was sitting in a café with Jace. When did I trail off again?

"Hm Yeah?"

"Are you okay? I've been calling you for a few minutes now. You just kept watching nothing with a distanced look on your face." His eyebrows were furrowed in concern as he asked and I quickly shook my head.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it. Just got distracted that's all." I gave him a reassuring smile to calm him down.

"If you say so. You've just been doing it a lot lately." He still wasn't convinced.

"Really don't worry about it." I repeated before standing up. "I'm just going to take a walk to clear my mind a bit. Just continue your staling on your own." I glanced towards the red haired girl that was sitting a few tables away from ours before walking away.

"Hey it's not stalking." He called after me but I barely caught it as I hurried outside.

This really needs to stop; I thought a little later as I walked, it may have been only minutes but by the sky that was considerably darker now it must have been hours since I left Jace. I can't keep on going like this. Remembering it all over and over again. We can't risk things like that anymore no matter how much I want to see him again.

It has been a week since he came back and I haven't seen him once. I've seen glances of radiant ca eyes here and there indicating that he was keeping close but that's all. I wanted to get to him so badly every time I saw him but I retrained myself. I can't anymore. I'll just get hurt even more. We won't be so lucky next time. That I know for sure. But, Angel I miss him so much.

"You're going to crash into someone while lost in thought like that love." Magnus's voice whispered into my ear as he found himself next to me in a second.

It was like he just read my thoughts. Like I summoned him by sheer will power.

But no matter how nice it felt to finally have him next to me again the fact is still the same.

We can't.

"Magnus we c-" I started talking but he pressed a hand on my lips before I could finish it and dragged me to the first alleyway before letting go and turning me to face him.

"Please don't say that. Please." He begged with both his eyes and his voice. It made my stomach clench because we can't. We shouldn't. We will for sure get caught now. I am being watched more closely now after everything. We can't.

But those eyes. I can't live without those eyes. Without Magnus. It was like my body was fighting against my heart and it was tearing me apart as I gazed into his eyes.

"Magnus-"

"No. Please." He pulled me so I was pressed against him. "Please lets go back to how it was before at least. I can't stand this Alexander. I can't stand to keep away. I love you. I can't live without you. Please. Just…Please."

I was crumbling under his eyes. My weak resolve shattering. I want it too. I want it so bad. I can't live without him either. I can't. I knew that a long time ago but somehow the feeling just got stronger the more time passed. It made the fact that we were away for so long so much worse.

I kissed him. I couldn't hold myself back anymore and I found myself leaning forward and pressing my lips to the ones I have been craving for the whole week. Not regretting it. Not regretting it one bit.

"M-" I was about to say yes. I wanted to say yes but was interrupted when there was a faint sound of cracking of flames.

I cut myself off and stepped away from Magnus as the sound got louder until flames were visible and a small piece of paper found itself in front of me.

I snatched it up and immediately saw that it was from Jace.

As I read it I froze almost stopped breathing. It was a short message but enough to get my blood running cold.

**Help me. I screwed up.**

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_The cliffy was necessary and you know it. Hope that was good. I'm finally getting on with the plot so yay. _

_Now I have some important stuff to tell you. First things first; this fanfic won't be very long. Maybe ten more chapters to go I think. Not sure yet. When I know you'll know. And now for the second thing…I'm sorry to say this but I have to finish all and every fanfic that I have by the time the last book comes out. I just have a feeling that it will break my heart and I won't be able to write stuff like this that easily anymore. Now that is just the worst scenario possible so I'm only taking precautions' here just in case. So yeah now you know by what time this will end. But there is no point in dwelling on that right now so let's just go back to this chapter. I really hope you liked it._

_So review my lovelies._


	7. Chapter 6

_Sorry for the wait. I have nothing else to say but Here you go and hope you like it._

I ran down the streets as fast as I could to get to get to Jace as fast as possible. Feeling anxious and concerned from the second the message came. I could also feel Magnus staying close. He wouldn't let me go unless I let him come with. Keeping his distance of course.

I would have waved it off saying that he worries too much but It's Jace and I was currently worried as hell. There was only one thing he could have done and I was hoping with everything in me that I was wrong. Because otherwise we are toast. Completely toast. He can't be that stupid can he?

"What the hell did you do?" I was asking even before I got into the building we were currently staying at.

But the second I did I froze in my tracks. My eyes resting on one of my worst nightmares.

Yes. He is that stupid.

There she was. The red-haired girl Jace has been obsessed with. She was sitting on a couch next to Jace with a blanket thrown over her as they talked. But all talking seized when they saw me.

Jace quickly stood up and got in front of the girl in an almost defensive stance, wings getting outstretched slightly out of reflex.

I sighed at seeing this. Does he really think I would do something to her?

I just didn't want him to have a life I have. A life of secrets and hiding and fears. So many fears and so many sleepless nights. I didn't want that. I don't want that for anyone let alone Jace. And I was hoping, no matter how vague that hope was that he will be smart enough to stay away. Smart enough to not interfere.

I guess it's too late now.

I passed a hand through my hair in frustration and took a few deep breaths before calming down enough to actually talk and not yell.

"You have two minutes." I said slowly, staring right into his gold eyes.

"I'm sorry okay. She was attacked by a vampire. What was I supposed to do? Just stand back and watch him drain the life out of her? Wait enough to be completely sure 'she's being harmed' and call for the council? It's all bullshit. I couldn't watch her die okay. I couldn't. So please just…Help me." He looked at her fondly over his shoulder and seeing him look at her like that would have been explanation enough.

I know that look way too well. I have that look every time I'm with Magnus. I see it on Magnus's face every time he makes me smile. I know it. I was just hoping I would never see the day to see it on him. Not like this.

I sighed again and walked closer. Looking at Jace expectantly as I got to him to what he reluctantly stepped sideways. Leaving me face to face with the girl that looked pretty held together for someone who lived through so many shocks in so little time. I can only imagine what happened to that vampire and it isn't pretty. Angry Jace isn't someone you want to mess with.

I looked her over before reaching and touching her arm. She flinched from the touch but I just held on tighter, closing my eyes in a second of concentration before opening my eyes again and groaning at what I saw.

It was white. Barely there. But still visible if you know what to look for.

"Jace. Kissing her wasn't needed to save her." I said slowly as I moved to glare at him. "You left your mark on her. Not a complete mark but a beginning of one. That can't be undone and you know that."

"I know. And I'm not sorry for doing it but I don't want her getting hurt. They will hurt her and they will cast me away. Make me fall. Please I need help to get out of this before they see. Before it gets out of control. You are the only one I could call. I don't know what to do."

"Okay I know. I know. Just let me think." I asked and finally let go of her. "I don't suppose you can live with never seeing her again?" I asked with no hope for it what so ever.

"You're kidding right? I just got her."

I thought so. I thought fighting off another sigh, looking back down at her again. Noticing for the first time that she hasn't said anything since I came in. It wasn't until that hit me that something else hit me to. One thing that can maybe solve all the problems. No, not a thing. A person. A person that was we speak. But am I willing to risk it?

I looked from one to the other. They just got together. I can't just break them apart. I can't. I know how much it hurts.

I took a deep shaky breath before speaking. "Do you trust me?"

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Sorry for the shortness and over all suckiness of the chapter. It's late and I'm supposed to be doing my homework for tomorrow but I promised you guys to post at least once a week so I had to. I really hope you liked it regardless._

_Please review my lovelies._


	8. Chapter 7

_I made you wait again. I'm sorry. I was supposed to update Monday but yeah…life got in the way. But anyway here you go now. Hope you like it._

"Do you trust me?" The question was intended for Jace who was by this point looking more at the girl longingly then at me.

Hearing that I was actually talking to him he snapped out of it and looked at me with eyebrows furrowed and eyes confused.

"Of course I trust you. I wouldn't have called you otherwise."

"Good." I nodded slightly, satisfied with the response. "I need you to leave."

"Leave?" Jace argued immediately just like I knew he would. "I can't just leave. Why do you want me to leave?"

"I don't want you to leave, I need it." He looked skeptical still so I continued reassuringly. "You don't have to worry. I'll make sure she is safe and sound. But if you need the both of you alive and unharmed you need to leave us alone for now."

Jace still looked unwilling but after another glance towards the girl he sighed, giving in.

He leaned down and kissed her one last time before whispering a quiet goodbye and leaving. Making me extremely uncomfortable to watch the exchange. The exchange that was too affectionate and familiar on both parts for it too be something new. Seeing this only made me more sure of what I've been thinking since I touched her. But there is only one way to be sure.

The second the door clicked closed behind him and steps walking away could be heard I turned towards the quiet girl. Trying to remember her name.

"So how long ago did he show himself?" I asked her, knowing that it's better to get over the lie first.

Her head snapped up in surprise. "What do you mean? I only saw him an hour ago."

Claire? No. Maybe its Cary or Chary? No wait. Clary. Yeah that's it.

"Oh come on Clary we both know that's not true." I said, sitting down next to her. "You may have been attacked by a vampire an hour ago but he didn't just then show himself to you. It must have been at least two days."

"How do you know? He said you won't know. That's there is no reason for you to know that-"

"That you were already seen by an angel or at least someone who may say something to The Clave? Yeah I figured it's why he called me now considering you've known for a bit. I know him better then he thinks I do." I flashed her a small smile so she relaxes a bit more. "Don't worry I won't tell him I know. But I would have known anyway because of the glow."

"What do you mean? What glow?" She looked down at her arms in confusion. Trying to see what I see and obviously failing at it.

"You can't see it but he marked you in a way the second the two of you kissed. It's very faint since you did only kiss plus he's an angel. Angels glow is white and not as…bright and noticeable as a demons one is. Plus it takes a while to develop as a mark so that's how I know it must have been days."

"Four." She said slowly, still looking down. "It's been four days since he showed himself to me."

I sighed at that. Of course it has. Just as I lowered my guard he had to do something like that. "I really should have seen it coming." I mumbled more to myself then her before speaking up again. "Well now that that's out of the way we need to get rid of the glow so the angels can't find you."

"And you will do that how?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "From the way you've been talking it doesn't seem like something that goes away easily."

"Oh it doesn't. It can't be taken away at all."

"Then what are you-"

"A mark can't be taken away once it's there but it can be hidden." I explained before turning to her fully. "Is there something you always wear? Some piece of jewelry or something that you never or at least rarely take off?"

"I have this bracelet…" She trailed off as she took the thin silver bracelet off of her wrist.

"Perfect." I took it from her before taking out a piece of paper and writing a quick message on it before drawing a fire rune and watching it burn away.

The second it burst into flames Clary jumped in surprise.

"Don't worry. I'm just sending a message to someone." Just as I said it the paper burned away fully and we were left in slightly uncomfortable silence. Not for long though because just a minute or so later the cracking of flames could be heard.

**A spell? Sure darling. I just need the bracelet in my hands to charm it.**

I smiled as I read the response before turning back to Clary and closing my fingers over the bracelet in question. "I will have to step out for a little bit. But whatever happens from this point onwards Jace can't know. Okay? You need to promise me this or I won't be able to help."

"I won't tell him but what are you going to do?" She looked concerned now as she stood just as Ii did, following me.

"Something he must never know about. If he asks how we hid the glow you just say I thought you how to hide it by your mind because sometimes it can be done but right now we don't have the time for that. So please just stay here for a few minutes while I go do what I have to do and then when I come back just put the bracelet on no questions asked. Can you do that? Please." Desperation could be heard in my voice by the end.

"Okay." She sat back down. "Okay."

"Good."

And with one last smile I was walking out of the door too. Down the street and into the side alley where I knew Magnus was hiding.

"Hi there love." Arms found themselves around me and my back was pressed against his chest as he whispered into my ear before kissing the back of my neck. "The bracelet please." He opened one of his hands palm upwards for me to put the bracelet on which was exactly what I did. Not even trying to get out of his embrace.

I missed it so much. Missed him. Maybe a little too much but I don't care. It was never any different. I always missed him when we were apart. And I think I always will.

I just hope we finally find a way to not be apart so much. Because I swear one day…It will be the death of me.

And as I watched him chant the spell in the darkness of the alley and lighting in with a faint blue glow that fact hit me harder than ever. Because I really can see it happening. And that's the worst part.

I can see one of us dying in the end of this messed up and complicated love story.

And that is something I can't let happen.

Not now.

And not ever.

I will make sure of it.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_I don't know. I really don't. I have no idea what I'm doing. Hopefully not screwing everything up but I feel like that's too much to hope for. Still I really hope it isn't._

_So you know please review my lovelies._


	9. Chapter 8

_Sorry for not posting last week I'm getting bad again but here it is now. Hope you like it._

I was counting the days again.

One day since I last saw him. Three days since our last touch. Four days and twenty hours since our last kiss.

I hated it. I couldn't stand it as I played with my bracelet again. Imagining him there. Imagining his fond smile and cat eyes and warm body as he held me in his embrace. His voice as he whispered into my ear sweet nothings just because he can. Every one of those secret filled moments that we were together but not allowed talking about later were the only things in my mind for hours now. Days even.

But the one thing that was killing me more than anything was the fact that I never did end up giving him an answer that day. I didn't manage to sneak out since that day Jace called for me. He was keeping a close eye on me knowing that something isn't right.

Later when he got back to Clary again he believed our story and Clary as promised said nothing. It made me sigh in relief at the time but I was stupid. I should have figured out that Jace will find something suspicious in my trying to go once he got back. He knows something is going on just doesn't know what. And because of that I can't go see Magnus and its torture. Especially after the message I got yesterday.

The mere thought of it made me worry.

It woke me up at three am. The cracking of flames. The blue light. The paper appearing with only two sentences that made me unable to go back to sleep from the worry.

**They found me but I got away. Wait for me.**

It didn't have to say who found him. I knew. I knew immediately.

The archangels are back. The same ones that have made Magnus run for the past year. The same ones who found us together after our foolish attempt of running away. And if they are back here it can't be good. It definitely isn't good.

Tears found themselves in my eyes but I didn't let them fall as I stared into empty space. He can be caught by now. He can be dead by now.

It has been four days and twenty hours since our last kiss. Will it really be our last?

…

A week has passed now. A week since the message. A week since I stopped sleeping through the night because I can't. I just can't. I never gave him the freaking answer. I never managed to say yes. Yes of course we can try again. Of course we can go back to how it was. Of course I can't live without you.

And with every passing hour I wonder will I ever manage to say it.

At least Jace is happy though. He and Clary are both. They're good at hiding. And the bracelet is doing its job so if they keep going like this everything will be fine. And I really hope they do. They look good together. Jace deserves a little happiness anyway.

I walked to the edge of the roof still deep in thought.

I started going here again more and more lately. He said to wait. So I'm waiting. I'm waiting on our roof top. On one of the oldest buildings in the city. On the place where we always find a way back to each other no matter what.

A small smile found itself on my lips as I remembered the first time we ended up here.

"_What are you doing?" I asked Magnus as he tried to cower my eyes with one of his hands._

"_You'll see. Just hold your eyes closed. It's a surprise."_

"_I don't want to." I teased and then yelped as he lightly pulled at one of my feathers._

"_No back talking young man. Close." He said with a smile clear in his voice._

"_Young?" I huffed. "I'm just a few hundred years younger than you."_

"_You're still younger." He chuckled and then halted all movement. "Okay you can open your eyes now."_

_I did as I was told and looked around in surprise as I saw that we are on top of a building._

"_What are we doing here?" I asked, looking back at Magnus who had a big smile on his face._

"_Go to the edge." He nodded towards the edge, a smile still there and eyes positively sparkling._

"_You won't push me off will you?" I teased as I made my way towards it._

"_Of course not darling. And plus you my love have wings so you can just as easily just fly off even if someone pushes you." He reminded me as he followed._

_I chuckled, standing at the very edge now and looking down at the city as a light breeze rustled my hair._

"_Spread your wings." There was a whisper in my ear. It sent shivers down my spine but again I did as I was told without any hesitation even though I did want to ask him why he wanted me to do that._

_My silent question was however answered as another breeze blew just a little bit stronger and it felt like heaven as it passed through my wings._

_I found myself letting out a content sigh and then warm hands were on my lower back making me relax even more._

"_I told you to trust me." He said happily and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh as a kiss was pressed on top of my head. "I love you Alexander."_

_I was in shock at hearing those words leave his lips for the first time. Because it's not right. This is not supposed to be happening. He is not supposed to say that. Not to me. But still my heart skipped a beat at hearing those words. Everything suddenly felt so much righter as I leaned onto the body behind me some more. Accepting the words in the only way I can. Silently and in secret but he understood. He always understands._

Those words were on the tip of my tongue too. Those three words that will make everything all the more permanent. But they never did end up leaving my lips. I knew I couldn't. I still know that. It's not right. No matter how true I can't utter those three words so lightly. I can't pretend that everything will be all right because we both know it won't. So the words were choked down that time. And every time afterwards. Every time I choked them down. Because I can't. I just can't.

There was some rustling behind me and I quickly turned around only to be met by the one thing I have been craving to see for a week. The only thing that is ever able to calm me down.

Those eyes. Those beautiful breathtaking cat eyes.

He smiled and I did the same as we just looked at each other. Not moving. Just watching.

He looked unharmed. Warn out but unharmed and that was the best I could ask. That was always the best I can hope for.

There was a silent question in his eyes.

A question that I knew was the same one that I have been wanting to answer all the time we were apart. A question that held even more meaning now that the archangels are back. And I knew that he will leave if I want him to. One word and he will leave without a word. Because he understand. And because he does it was only one more reason to never say it. To never say no no matter what the risk is.

I deserve to be selfish every once in a while. I deserve to be happy.

"Yes." I heard the word quietly leave my lips but he heard it. He always hears it.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_This is what happenes when you go write while listening to The Fray. I'm just getting started though. There is a lot more to come. And the archangels are back. What do you think will happen now? Will they catch Magnus? Will they find out about them? Or will they maybe find out about Clary? Or maybe something else all together? What do you think?_

_There are about 14 chapters left to write I think. So yeah I hope you liked this one._

_Please review my lovelies._


	10. Chapter 9

_You guys are just awesome! I love every one of you. Everyone who ever reviewed, favorited or followed this story. You are all amazing. Thank you for reading and getting me to 100 reviews this fast. I couldn't believe it when I saw it so thank you my amazing readers._

_As my sign of gratitude here is another chapter. Hope you like it._

Light snoring and warm skin were the things I woke up to, a smile appearing on my face immediately as I saw a lean tall flawless body lying next to me on a big comfy bad.

Magnus's sleeping face was always my favorite thing to wake up to. Even if I did only get to see it a few times. I just wish I could wake up to it every morning.

Sleep was still clinging to me as I barely managed to keep my eyes open no matter the light of the morning sun that was hitting our bare skin for the half open window. The breeze it was sending it felt wonderful on my heated skin and ruffled feathers and all I could do was turn lazily and singled even more into Magnus's embrace as I closed my eyes once again. A content smile on my lips because if this isn't heaven I don't know what is.

Magnus subconsciously tightened his arms around me and shifted so we were lying more comfortably, still asleep. I honestly wasn't far from it either. Sleep sounded very nice on this lazy morning.

Just as I was about to slip into sleep again I felt a little shock of electricity pass through my spine.

My eyes snapped open is surprise at the sudden and unfamiliar feeling. It wasn't even like electricity. It was just…Tingly. Weird and foreign.

Frowning I touched my lower back but there was nothing. The feeling passed as fast as it appeared.

What was that?

I shifted, feeling uncomfortable and watched all of the sudden.

However that didn't seem as such a good idea as I saw something fall on the pillow in front me. Something that made my eyes open wide in horror more than anything this time. Horor at seeing one thing I have been terrified of my whole life.

It was a feather. My feather.

But it was black.

Frantically I grabbed my wing and pulled so I can see it. So I can see that my eyes were just playing tricks on me. That this wasn't happening. This can't be happening. But that wasn't what I was met with. No. What I was met with turned my pale skin paler and heart beating faster in horrified fear.

The pearl white feathers that once adored my wings were now pitch black. All black. I felt like I just stared into a black hole. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to scream but suddenly I felt too weak to even move.

There was some shifting next to me as Magnus started waking up from my sudden movements.

"Alexander wha-" His eyes opened and the sleepy mumbles were gone in a second as his eyes turned as wide as mine probably were making him awake in seconds.

It was not fast enough.

The door opened in a crash and all I could see was gold. Pale skin and golden wings mixed with white, a clear sign of archangels.

By The Angel no. No. No. No. How did they find us? We were careful. They weren't supposed to find us. No!

It was too late. Everything was happening two fast. Too many things happening too fast. It was two late.

It took only one blink for me to feel something warm dripping onto my hand. Only one snap of my eyes to Magnus to see it's his blood. One scream as I saw them approach. One punch, one kick to see one of them on the floor beneath my feet, tears clouding my vision.

One moment was enough to change everything. One moment was enough to kill. To ruin. Just a fraction of a second and the agonizing pain started in my back. One fraction of a second was enough for everything to start turning black. One fraction was enough for the scream.

I sat up quickly, an agonizing scream leaving my lips, body sweaty and heart hammering in my chest.

It took me a while to calm down. To notice that I am alone in the darkness of my room. It took me a while to notice that it was just a dream. Just a nightmare even if every touch felt so real. Even if the smell of Magnus's skin still felt like it lingered around me. Even if the pain felt so agonizingly real still.

The pain at the base of my wings that felt like I was being ripped apart. The pain in my heart as I watched Magnus bleed to death. It felt so real. So horrifyingly real.

Before I even knew what I was doing I was getting up off the bed and grabbing at first clothes I could find. My mind and body a complete mess as I practically ran out of the room and the front door. The aftershock of the dream still heavy and fresh. Way too fresh.

It was cold out but I couldn't find it in myself to care as I hurried forward. Jacket forgotten somewhere back home so that only the wings wrapped around me were keeping me warm. Wings that were white. So beautifully white. I have never felt so relieved and happy to see the whiteness of them as I kept walking as if in a daze. Not even thinking where I'm going because I knew. I knew where I'm going and I knew by heart how to get there.

That was such a good thing at the moment because my mind was too wracked to function properly to remember my name let alone directions.

It didn't take me long before I found myself in front of a familiar door, walking up creaky stairs that I knew way too good, one more door and I was there. Standing in the darkness of a silent overly colorful living room. Magnus's old lodge from years ago that he still decide to keep.

All the memories hit me all at once.

It has been so long since I stepped foot in here. Last time was a few months ago when I just couldn't take it anymore, the longing and wanting becoming too much once again but that time I gave in and walked to the only place I knew I could. It was empty and covered in dust and it did nothing to help my heartache. If anything it made it worse.

This time it was different though.

The furniture was there. No dust in sight. A fresh smell of Magnus lingering everywhere. Magnus. Magnus. Everything screamed Magnus.

My heart ached once again. But now for a different reason. The dream felt too real. They always do. But I can't anymore. I can't.

The door of the bedroom slightly creaked as I pushed it open.

My heart seemed to leap in relief as I saw the sleeping figure on the bed. Relief and tiredness. That was all I could feel as I made my way to the bed, taking off my clothes as I did.

The tiredness wasn't from the lack of sleep though. It was from everything. It was from life. I was just…tired. Tired of everything. Always tired.

The bed shifted slightly as I slipped under the covers next to the one and only person that can calm my still racing heart. The only person that can give me assurance by only one touch. The only person I needed at the moment.

Arms found themselves around my waist and I was pulled onto a warm body I craved for so much. I was pulled into his embrace like it's the most perfect and normal thing there is. And it was. It really was.

The heartbeat that I could suddenly hear as my head found itself on his chest was the most perfect thing I ever heard. It is the best sound in my life. I love it the most. I always will.

"Alexander?" A sleepy voice whispered huskily into my ear and I couldn't help but smile. It was perfect. Even after that dream just being like this, just seeing him was still perfect. It was still able to make me smile. "What's-"

"I…It was a bad dream." I cut him off and mumbled onto his bare skin. The feeling of it on mine addictive. "I had a bad dream and I needed you. I missed you."

I knew I wasn't allowed to say that. And I knew I wouldn't say it so lightly if this was any other day. If this was any other moment. But right now it felt right. After that dream it needed to be said. After that dream I couldn't find it in me to fight it.

The feeling of lips on top of my head made me sigh.

"I'm here." He said tightening his arms around me just like he did in the dream. "I'm not going anywhere. Sleep. I'm here."

He understood.

Of course he understood.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Hopefully this was good and you will like it and review._

_Oh and if you were wondering Yes Alec has these kind of dreams a lot. And even if you weren't wondering now you know anyway._

_Review my lovelies._


	11. Chapter 10

_I'm being nice again aren't I? I'm sorry for the last few weeks and the inconsistency in updates but I'm getting better now again which means I'm back to my 'write, write and then write some more' schedule. Hopefully my good mood will stay and there will be faster updates again. Especially with what's coming *evil smirk*_

_Anyway here you go. The next chapter. Hope you like it._

"You seem really happy these past few days." Izzy said with a slight smirk as she sat down next to me, analyzing my every move.

I shifted uncomfortably under her watchful gaze and just continued looking forward towards the crowd of people walking by. Trying to ignore her best I could because I know I can't like for anything and she is way too observant for my liking. Especially now when I have the feeling that I won't like the questions that will follow soon.

"I'm always happy." I said absentmindedly but then continued at her doubtful eyes still on me. "I'm just happy. Is that wrong?"

"No. No not wrong. I'm just…" She glanced where I was looking before getting back to me. "I'm not used to it that's all. You don't usually smile that much."

I smiled at her as she said it, glancing towards her for the first time. Being reminded why I am happy in the first place.

Magnus and I have been spending more and more time together lately. After that little incident with my night visit happened it somehow turned into something that happened every night. We only ever slept and I was out in the morning before he even got a chance to wake up but the night sleeping in his warm embrace was something I loved the most in those three days we had of freedom. Sleeping with him next to me again, no matter how risky, ended up leaving me smiling for the whole day afterwards as my skin still tingled from where his arms embraced me.

What is there not to be happy about?

"Well sorry for being happy." I teased lightly, the smile not wavering. "I just feel happy that's all."

"Okay okay." She said with her own smile, letting it go as we both went back to watching the people in the park surrounding us. A comfortable silence settling as we did so.

"You know about Jace don't you?" She asked quietly after a while, breaking the since first but this time not looking at me as she just continued watching.

I sighed at her words. "Yes." I answered simply and as quiet as she asked, not wanting anyone else to hear. Angels are good at getting information, if someone hears who shouldn't, they will know in two minutes flat. And that is something we can't afford to have happen.

Now it was her time to sigh. "What are we going to do with him?"

"I guess we just need to let him do what he wants. It's too late to do anything so just let him be and him every now and again to be careful."

At my answer she looked at me as if she is seeing me for the first time. "What happened to you?"

I shrugged hoping it will look nonchalant. "Nothing I just know how stubborn he is." Saying that I got up prepared to leave because it was getting late and I had…Somewhere to be. "Sorry but I have to go. See you tomorrow." I gave her a small slightly unsure smile but she only continued watching me with narrowed eyes so I decided it's best to get out of there quick.

With that thought I turned around to leave, sending a small 'bye' over my shoulder.

"I know you're hiding something from me." She called after me, making me stop for a moment and sigh for what must be an up tenth time since I met with her today.

"I know you do."

And just like that I was walking away, knowing that she is not done with me but that she will also let I go for the time being. At least until she finds out what it is that I'm hiding.

I guess I will just have to be even more careful from now on. The thought wasn't nice but I knew it was true. Izzy is good at finding out information too.

With my mind still wrapped up in Izzy and our talk I made my way through the streets, getting closer and closer to my destination.

The smell of something delicious made me snap out of my thought as I stepped through the front door. After making sure no one is watching or following me of course.

"Darling you're here." A familiar voice made a smile appear on my face as he looked out from the kitchen, sending me a smile himself. "I'm making dinner."

My smile grew wider at that.

"Is that the reason why I had to come earlier?" I asked teasingly, inclining to the fact that I usually come somewhere around midnight so no one can get suspicious that easily because my siblings think I'm already asleep and so are they.

"Of course Alexander. You know I can't have you only coming here for the sleep. I'm starting to think you only date me for my bed. And that can't do."

I laughed, walking more into the lodge, loving the feeling of warmth and home I get every time I'm here.

"Well your bed is very comfy." I joked and in return heard him make a displeasing noise from the kitchen since he retreated back there. With another laugh I walked into the kitchen and saw him by the stove doing something. "Are you actually cooking on your own or is there magic involved?"

The second I didn't get the answer immediately I knew it was the latter.

"There is always magic in cooking love." He joked and turned around to pull me into his arms, leaving a quick kiss on my lips. "Hi." He said with a smile.

"Hi." I returned softly, a smile not leaving my face.

A feeling of home every time I step into his loft is something I absolutely love, but the feeling of home when I'm with him in general is the best feeling there is.

It's something that feels so right even though we both know that what we are doing is so very wrong. But still…

It's something I will never get tired of.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Sorry for the shortness. I just needed some family time and I know everyone just loves fluff so here you go my wonderful readers. I also needed Izzy because as you can see I have kind of pushed her to the side since the first chapter. (Way way to the side but that's beside the point) So anyway yeah I think I did everything I wanted to with this one._

_Oh yeah and I finally managed to read Clockwork Angel. Yeah I know finally. I've been dying to read it for so long and now I finally have and I love it (as expected really) even though I know I will die but the third book it's awesome._

_So that's all from me. I hope you liked this._

_Review my lovelies._


	12. Chapter 11

_Sorry sorry sorry. I'm so sorry for the wait. I actually started writing this the day after the last update but yeah school got in the way. And it was also supposed to be up hours ago but I got distracted and left it half finished. Can't have that now can I. Sorry again. Hopefully the length of it will surface and you will forgive me for the wait. On a brighter note I am on a holiday this week so expect lots of updates hopefully. But anyway here you go now. Hope you like it._

Soft touches felt so good on my bare skin as we relaxed on the couch. Magnus's fingers lingering on my skin absentmindedly in the most loving of ways.

"Alexander." He whispered into my ear before kissing behind it, shifting slightly so that I was now on my back instead of on my side and looking up at him. "Do you ever regret it?"

"Regret what?" I asked even though I already knew the answer, I knew what he was talking about but just didn't want to ruin our rare chance at relaxing. Not with unnecessary thoughts.

He knew all that, he knew why I asked but still continued on. Determined to get an answer. "Saying yes to me that day. Do you regret it?" He repeated and I sighed.

I looked up into his eyes, my mind already wondering to the first time I ever saw him. To the first time I said yes to him. The moment that changed my life without me even noticing it at the time.

_The day was cold. The kind of cold that leaves you shivering in a matter of minutes no matter how warm you dress up. The kind of cold where you would rather spend the day inside in front of a warm fireplace then be outside like me at the moment. _

_My wings were wrapped safely around me, trying to keep the warmth in but my fingers still went numb after a few minutes. I really should have taken some gloves._

_Sadly, or maybe it was luckily, I couldn't focus on any of it as my eyes shifted from one person to another. Making sure I get a read on them before turning to the next one. Half of them were sick. Will be dead by the end of winter probably and it made me sad but there is nothing I can do about it. Not unless I have orders to. It's something I hate but can't go against. _

_My eyes stayed on a little boy longer than they should have. He was young. Only ten years old if even that. And he was dying. Not enough food in his family to feed him as much as his body needed to develop. Not able to get the medication he needed to cure his cold. It was all too much for him and it was visible he wont last long. But he was still out in the street shivering from the cold because his family needed money so he decided to stay out and try to get even a penny from the passerby's. His heart was pure and he was fighting like a lion. Fighting his sickness, fighting time, fighting his own body and mind because his younger sister has a birthday soon and she wished she could try something sweet. Just a cupcake she said. That was the only thing in his mind at the moment. Just a cupcake. _

_I knew I shouldn't interfere. It was against the rules. But then again I was never fond of rules. _

_My feet took me to him even before my mind could process what I'm doing. He looked up as I loomed over him. Children could always see through the mist. Could see our real form if they really look. And I could see he did. When he looked up and saw me his eyes were so big and bright and full of hope it almost made me crumble. Rare were people like that in this day and time. And this child has been through so much. And yet there is so much hope in those brown eyes._

_I smiled, a rare thing for me to do, and reached for him. Cherishing his dirty cheek. His soul. Finding such innocence it spread calmness throughout my own being. _

"_It's going to be all right." I whispered pressing two fingers right above his heart, not looking away from those eyes for even a minute. Not until they fluttered closed almost peacefully and he fell forwards. I caught him just in time and took into my arms, letting my wings cover us both now. "It's going to be all right now."_

_His heart was beating faster now. Stronger. The pale skin turning a little pinker. Color returning to the sickly body that wasn't sick anymore._

_I didn't have a lot of money but all that I had I left with him when I took him home and tucked into the bed, covering him with a too thin blanket but it was all that he had. It was more then his parent had and most nights he would bare with the cold just so that his parents can be a little bit warmer. He would sneak over to their bed when they were asleep and cover them up because he knows they would refuse otherwise. He was a good kid. _

_I knew the money I left wouldn't last that long. But at least half of the winter it should withstand. Hopefully they can find a way after that. They deserved to survive. Such pureness and love is rare. It's a welcoming change after watching greed for so long._

"_You shouldn't have done that." A voice came from behind me, startling me as I looked back to see an unfamiliar face._

_I knew immediately what I was seeing in front of me. Tan and lean body of a man an inch or so taller then me, younger but not by much. His youthful face not enough to hide all the years seen in his eyes. Sharp cat eyes with a mischievous spark in them. Eyes unnatural in a human. But this wasn't a human._

"_A warlock." I whispered stepping back. Knowing that if someone sees me in a company of the demon blooded there will be consequences that won't be in a any way pleasant._

"_Don't worry little angel no one will see us here." He said with a small smile as he watched me, eyes focused like he was gazing into my very soul before his smile turned into a smirk. "So an angel breaking the rules. Never thought I will see the day."_

_I shifted, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze. "I couldn't let him die." I whispered, looking in front of me instead of at him. "He doesn't deserve it."_

"_You left your mark." He said and all I could do was sight. Because I know. I know what I did. _

"_His life is more important then mine." Was all I said. "I'm not worth much." It was a depressing thought but also true. I'm…not right. My feelings for my own adoptive brother are a good indication of that. _

"_Well I can't see how that's true." I looked back at him only to see him leaning onto the nearest wall of a house, his eyes locked steadily on me. "Someone like yourself is definitely worth a lot."_

"_And why would you say that? You don't even know me." I said bitterly._

"_Well for one you are breathtaking with those blue eyes and black hair. My favorite combination by the way." He winked at me and the sudden blush was impossible to ignore as his smile only widened. "All pale, lean and muscle. How can anyone ignore that is beyond me." He looked me up and down. Not even trying to hide it and it only made my blush worse. "But even beyond that," He continued much to my surprise. "You seem to be selfless. Not even seeing how perfect you really are. Your self worth should be much higher then that darling."_

"_It's easy for you to say that. You're a warlock. You don't know how it is… Actually I shouldn't be even talking to you." I turned to leave knowing that it's something I should have done the second he appeared._

"_Wait." A hand caught hold of my wrist stopping me. My wins fluttered immediately in distress and as I turned to look at him his eyes were locked on them with a look close to fascination. A spark in his eyes. It took him a minute before he finally cleared his throat and looked back at my face. "Maybe I don't know how it is for you. But I would really like to know better. About you. An angel as beautiful as you…I find you fascinating."_

"_I…" I was at a loss of words. Did he really just say that he would like to get to know me better. He's a warlock. I shouldn't even be talking to him now let alone repeating it. "I can't…"_

"_Can't or want? Say the word and I will leave you alone. But is that really what you want darling? I see you need someone to listen. Someone who can understand. Just say yes. Say yes and I will listen. You can trust me."_

_The You can trust me was a stretch. I sure as hell can't trust a downworlder. Can't trust him. But…I found myself wanting to. He said that he just wants to listen. There can't be any harm in that can there. I could see only honesty in his eyes and before I knew it I found the word slipping over my lips. Changing my whole life just like that. My whole future._

"_Yes."_

The memory made me smile a little despite of everything. "Of course I don't. I could never regret it."

He looked so relived at that as he smiled down at me, breathing the tense atmosphere. "Best day of my life you know. The second I saw you I knew you were special."

I blushed and looked away. "You really need to stop saying things like that."

"Why would I ever do something like that love? I just love seeing you flustered."

I pushed him off of me and he ended up laughing even as he fell on the floor, my cheeks were tomato red by now too. It was embarrassing.

He stayed on the floor but still looked up at me.

"I love you." He whispered softly and I couldn't help but smile softly but sadly at him. Wishing that I can say the same. Wishing that it's just that simple. Sadly it wasn't. It never was.

"I know."

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_So I hope you liked this. I swear all of this has a point. And this is an important part too as you will find out in latter chapters. So anyway thanks for reading and hopefully the next update will be the day after tomorrow._

_Please review my lovelies._


	13. Chapter 12

_Hi! As promised I'm updating. Hope you will like this chapter. There is…A lot of going on. So yeah here you go. Its short but hopefully good._

"Hey Alec are you listening. Hello. Earth to Alec." A hand was moving in front of my eyes making me snap out of my thoughts, eyes focusing on Izzy for the first time since I came in probably. When did I even come in?

"Hey what is with you lately?" she asked, looking mad now. Eyes hard and glaring. "You and Jace both. I barely see you two anymore. Is there something I should know? You finally acting out on your feelings and now you're avoiding each other or what? "

"No. Of course not. There are no feelings. Its-"

"Don't you even dare. Don't you dare say its nothing. I'm not blind. Or stupid at that matter. I know something is going on and I have been turning a blind eye on it for far too long. I want the truth." She said sternly but then cut me off again as I opened my mouth to reply. "And no funny business either. I don't care if you killed someone. I just want to know."

"Look Izzy just…" I took a deep breath trying to stay calm. "Do you trust me? Please I need you to trust me on this one and not ask questions. Please." I said almost desperately, not knowing what to tell her.

She stared at me for a good minute before opening her mouth with a reply. "Is this about the person who leaves hickeys on you all the time?"

I almost choked and hearing that and started a coughing fit, feeling like its hard to breathe all of the sudden.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." I managed to choke out eventually, my voice rough and raspy.

"Oh please don't even try. Maybe I don't know what happening right now. Or what happened when you disappeared and were brought back after days only to lock yourself into your room for weeks. But a person would have to be pretty oblivious not to notice that you are seeing someone considering your often disappearances for ours only to come back with a fresh hickey. And I am not that oblivious. So I will ask again. Does it have to do something with the mystery man?"

I sighed. Giving up under her gaze and averting my eyes as I answered with a quiet 'yes'.

"Okay." She nodded once before turning her attention back to the paper in her hand rater then at me. "I am guessing you will tell me when you're ready?" I nodded quickly seeing her sigh this time. Out of relief or something else I wasn't sure. "Okay. So like I was saying. There has been some accuracies around here that the Clave hasn't taken a liking at." I tensed at hearing that and she looked at me weirdly before continuing. "So another angel is being assigned to us. A way of help I guess which is just a pile of bull if you ask me but okay. We can bare with whoever it is for a bit."

I wasn't listening anymore. My mind running wild with the new information. Accuracies that the Clave doesn't like. A new angel…They are investigating. Oh shit they are investigating us. This cant be good. Tis wont be good. They maybe don't know about me but they wouldn't send anyone if they weren't at least suspecting something of Jace. And if they snoop around they will surely find out about me too. Shit. By The Angel this is…This isn't good. This is so not good. Not good at all. This is-

"You okay there?" Izzy's voice snapped me out of my thoughts for the second time today.

I nodded but it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

The front door was yanked open with too much force making both Izzy and me to look ever to it, already reaching for our weapons. Jace rushed inside with a haunted look and alarmed eyes.

"Alec." He exclaimed and that was enough for me to know why he was looking like that. He knew too. He found out about The Clave snooping around. And he didn't look any better about it then I did.

I shook my head slightly, just enough for him notice as Izzy looked from one to another, trying to make him calm down before Izzy figured out more then she should know. It's better to keep her out of it. There may be a big chance the two of us will be found out and stripped but I will not let izzy get the same fait. Not if I can help it.

Sadly the look on her face showed that it may be too late for that. "What did you two do? What did you do?" She asked with narrowed eyes still looking from one to another.

"Nothing." I said quickly while Jace slowly regained himself. "Really its nothing to worry about. Jace just lost a bet."

"A bet?" She raised an eyebrow at me, not believing it one bit.

"Yeah a bet. So when did you say the new angel is coming over?" I asked trying to change the subject, hoping that she will play along but my eyes not moving from Jace as I asked. Watching as the facade was back on but I could still see the fear there. Well hidden but not from me. I know him too well for that.

"Um" Izzy looked at us one more time before giving up, making me feel extremely grateful but at the same time guilty. However considering the alternative I would take guilt over her falling any day.

"He should be-"

There was a knock on the door cutting her off. We all looked at each other knowing that it could be no one else. It was like he was just waiting for us to talk about him to appear.

Jace being the closest one to the door opened it saying a polite greeting, looking relaxed and completely normal like he didn't almost have a breakdown a few minutes ago.

"Hello." A voice said back and I froze. Recognizing the voice immediately.

But this…It isn't possible. It can't be. He can't be. I hurried to the door to make sure. To see it for myself and was left almost gaping as my guess was correct. It really was him.

"James." I said breathlessly in a greeting, feeling like I just ran a mile as my eyes scanned the angel before me. From his silver hair to his pale skinny body. Oh God. "Jem."

"Hello Alexander." He said with a smile. "Long time no see."

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Surprise. But seriously what else could you expect from me? I told you I'm reading TID so this was really the only thing you could expect from me at this point. And yeah I know I owe you some pretty big explanations at this point and those will be in the next chapter that will be up Monday at worst. So yeah I told you a lot of things are happening here. I hope you liked them though._

_Please review my lovelies._


	14. Chapter 13

_Sorry for the delay. I have no other excuse but the fact that I have been really tired lately in every way possible and it is hard to get any kind of motivation for anything. _

_Oh and I don't think I never told you guys this but this fic actually has a song that kind of gets me in the mood for writing it. My friend showed it to me at the early stage of this fic and it kind of reminds me of it so yeah… It's called Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab so check it out if you want to. It's an awesome song. So that's all. Here you go now, hope you like it._

"James." I said breathlessly in a greeting, feeling like I just ran a mile as my eyes scanned the angel before me. From his silver hair to his pale skinny body. Oh God. "Jem."

"Hello Alexander." He said with a smile. "Long time no see."

There was silence. Just plain silence as Jem and I kept looking at each other. I was just too surprised to see him to look away. Not in a million years did I think I would see him again. Not after that night…By The Angel it has been years.

"Do you…You know each other?" Izzy was the first one to break the silence, startling me into looking away and reminding me that we are not alone. She had furrowed eyebrows when I glanced at her.

"Yes." Jem said simply, stepping inside after I moved sideways so he can. "We have a…" He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and a half smile. "Mutual friend."

I almost laughed at that but pushed it down. Izzy and Jace are here; I had to remind myself. I have to be careful.

I cleared my throat before talking to break the uncomfortable atmosphere. "So umm these are my brother and sister, Jace and Izzy." I said pointing at them.

"Oh yes I heard a lot about you both." He said while they shook hands. First with Jace and then Izzy before he was back at my side. "I hope you are good?" He asked and I immediately caught the double meaning of the question. He wasn't just asking about me.

"Yes. I am very good." I said with a smile. "Actually we can go for a walk later and catch up if you want."

"I would really like that."

Jace and Izzy watched our exchange closely before Jace finally spoke. "Yeah okay. So you know each other. Awesome. Still doesn't change the fact that they sent us a guard dog."

"Watch it." Jem warned, looking at Jace now too. "I am a few hundred years older then you. And I am not a guard dog in any way. I am here just to look over the area. Nothing more. I am here to help."

Jace snorted but kept is mouth shut for which I was grateful for to no end. He did however look at me with questioning eyes.

Shaking my head quickly to a question that I knew he had, because what else would he be worried about but Clary, I turned back to Jem.

"Walk?" I asked trying to ignore the looks that were Jace and Izzy sending me and focusing on the task at hand. I may know Jem and he may saved me more then once but I don't know if I can trust him with Jace's life too.

He just nodded and with a quick goodbye we were out of the door.

"So about this whole 'I'm just here to look over everything' thing…" I started when we were far enough and I was sure we aren't followed. I wouldn't put it pass my siblings at this point though.

"It's a complete lie." Jem said simply, confirming my suspicions and making me sigh.

"How bad is it?" I asked slowly, not really sure if I want to know by this point.

"Well no one knows that it's Jonathan for now. The Clave however does suspect your family the most because you are a permanent residence here and considering your history-"

"We're screwed." I finished for him.

"Pretty much." He nodded before looking sideways at me while I kept my eyes on the ground, trying to think for a way out of this and not finding one. "Don't worry all right. All they know is that an angel left a mark on a human girl. That's all. They don't even know who she is so if he just stayed away everything will blow over and they will move on. But he really needs to stay away because I'm not the only one here. There are more located around the city Alec. You have to be careful too."

"I am." I said slightly bitter as I remembered. "Trust me I am."

"I know you are." He put a hand on my shoulder and I was brought back to years ago. To the time that I first met Magnus. The first time I met Jem.

That boy I saved ended up being my undoing. The mark I left on him almost made me fall. Because only a week later an angel came knocking at my door. An angel with silver hair and pale skin. An angel that ended up saving me instead of killing me.

"_You saved a child that wasn't supposed to be saved." The angel in front of me accused me almost angrily, wings restless behind his back. "You know what would happen. You left your mark. So why? Why would you do that? This isn't worth falling. One life isn't worth falling for." Somehow as he talked it felt like he wasn't talking only to me. Like he wasn't really angry at me._

_It made me shift uncomfortably under his gaze and some questions to pop into my head but I didn't voice them out. I did however answer his question._

"_I can't say I'm looking forward to falling but I don't regret saving that child's life. He will be great. His life will have a meaning he deserves to live." I said with conviction, not backing down. "I couldn't let him die."_

_He looked at me for a long moment. He looked like he was in pain and his eyes looked like a battle field but all I got out of him was a nod before he turned around and walked away without a word._

It was weird but the next day when he came back the mark on the boy was gone. Replaced by a grater one. By a demon one. It was replaced with Magnus's mark. And just like that I ended up befriending him because he saved me for some reason even though he didn't have to. He saved me and didn't even ask for a thank you. That was also the day that I got a Warlock as my own personal stalker. A Warlock that later on ended up someone I can't live without.

I never did end up learning a lot about Jem. I never learned what happened for him to decide to save me, for him to risk so much for a stranger. I also never learned how he knows Magnus or why. But that's somehow okay. If he doesn't want me to know I won't ask questions. He saved me then and he saved me later when Magnus and I tried to run away. I would have fallen so many times if it weren't for him.

I looked sideways at him as I thought that.

He's a mystery that's true. But he is also one of the few people I can trust. He is the only person I can trust with Magnus and I.

I may not know a lot but I know enough.

Jem is a friend. He always was.

The unlocking of the door echoed through the empty hallway and the door before us opened just as I looked up, just in time to see cat eyes look from Jem to me before I smile stretched across familiar lips.

"Jem. My old friend. So happy to see you." Magnus said opening his door wider. "Please do come in."

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_And again we are back to the 'I have no idea what the hell I'm doing' faze. I seriously don't. But I hope this made sense. Oh and what do you think is the reason that Jem was angry at the mention of falling? Please do send me your ideas and what you think of this whole chapter that hopefully didn't suck._

_So please review my lovelies._


	15. Chapter 14

_So so so sorry for the long wait. Seriously I'm so sorry. It's just that it's the end of the year and I've been writing my originals and exo fics too and somehow kept pushing updating my malec ones for later. Lucky for all of us it's later now. So here you go. I know its short but I hope you like it._

I was picking at my bracelet again. Playing with it absent mindedly as I thought of the very person that gave it to me, my eyes glazed over a bit as I stared at nothing. The last time I was able to see Magnus was two weeks ago when Jem first came.

It's not that he is not letting up meet up, he knows Magnus after all, but he is not the only angel watching closely at the moment. He is just the only one who showed himself to us. The rest are in hiding but still there. Jem warned us more then once about that, meaning that the only way I was able to contact Magnus for now was by a fire message. And that sucked so much.

I miss him.

I miss his touch, his voice, his scent…Just everything that's him. I just miss him and no matter how many messages we send it's not the same. The distance is still there. And after being apart for so long already the mere thought of having to do it again for who knows how long was suffocating and just plain wrong.

I wish it was different. I wish our life was different so we would be able to be together without fear and the need to look over our shoulders all the time. But sadly this is our life and it is the only one we have so we have no choice but to deal with it best we can. And if that means another three months of not seeing each other then be it. It's the only choice we have.

"What got you so lost in thought?" A voice asked next to me making me snap out of it and look up to see golden eyes locked on the TV that was turned on, even though I don't remember it being tired on a minute ago.

"It's nothing." My words sounded distant in my own ears as my mind concentrated on the sight of Jace sitting next to me.

He looked even worse then he did yesterday. Dark bags under his eyes and eyes loosing a bit of that glow. It's because he's unable to see Clary. He got a phone so they can still kind of talk to each other but he has been taking all of this a lot worse then me.

I'm used to this. It's not the first and probably not even the last time something like this will happen but is the first for him. I can see that he loves her and I can also see the toll the distance is taking on him but I can't do anything about it. I know how it is. I remember the first time we had to be apart for a long period of time and I remember how much it hurt. How it felt like a piece of me was missing, how it physically hurt to breathe at times. That's what happens when you are forced apart from your mate after all. I'm used to it. I numbed myself against it by now, had a lot of practice. I just wish I could do something so Jace doesn't have to but I know that isn't possible. And either way he needs to get used to it.

That thought hurt too. The fact that Jace needs to get used to something like this because of the path he chose. I was really hoping it would never come to that.

"What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?" His eyes were now on me and all I could do was look away and shrug.

"It's just that I don't like seeing you like this." I answered truthfully after a moment. "I don't like you being this hurt."

A sigh could be heard and I could see his shoulders slouching as he looked ahead again.

"I'm sorry." Hearing the words leave his mouth surprised me. Why is he saying sorry? "We are in house arrest because of me. I'm sorry. And I know you don't like Clary but I just-"

"Hey hey I never said I don't like her." I cut him off. "She's good for you. She makes you happy and I don't dislike her in any way. I was just…" It was my turn to sigh now. "I guess I just wanted you to stay out of it all. I knew how complicated your life will be once you cross that line, and even though I knew deep inside that you will cross it I still wanted you to have it easy for at least a little bit longer because you throw everything to hell by leaving your mark on her."

He was looking to the floor by the time I stopped talking and I could see the understanding in his eyes. I could see that he finally understood what I have been trying to tell him all those months.

There was a comfortable silence between us after that. Even after Izzy came back from patrol and even Jem a little after that, there was just nothing more to be said. We both knew everything that we needed to. And even though there were still secrets left unsaid from both of us it's not important at the moment. Even though there was a bad feeling building up inside me for days now it's not important for now. It is probably nothing though. I really hope its nothing. But either way Jace is good and I am good and no matter the situation we are in now everything will be fine. Hopefully.

"Thanks for looking after me." A soft whisper reached my ears making a small smile appear on my face.

Jace is family. No matter how much he screws up sometimes he is family and I always look after my family. Magnus and Jem included.

"I always will."

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_So I know it's short and there are no malec moments but family time is important too. I really hope you liked it and will tell me what you think. I'll try and update as fast as I can._

_Please review my lovelies._


	16. Chapter 15

_I'm sorry for the wait but I hope I'm making up for it by the length if this. So yeah here you go, hope you like it._

"I miss you." The words ringed through the room for the fifth time in the past few minutes. And still I couldn't get enough of hearing them. Hearing that voice I missed so much.

"I miss you too." My response was a bit hesitant and quiet but no less truthful because I really do miss him. I miss him a lot. And that is why this currently, no matter how happy it made me, was also slightly torturous in the worst way.

I was in my room, walls bare white with only a bed against one wall and the rest just gaping emptily and hollow. It really was a cold room. Not homey or warm in any way, nothing like Magnus's loft is. But no matter how much I hate the coldness of it and avoid staying in it mostly, still here I am. Sitting crisscrossed on the cold wooden floor with the door locked and the blinds on the windows closed shut making the coldness even more evident. And the reason for all that was sitting right in front of me. Posture mirroring mine except for the wings that were spread easily against my back, fluttering every now and then absentmindedly as I marveled at the feeling of having them finally spread after hours and my eyes stayed on the man before me.

Gold and green eyes were holding mine from the second he appeared, strong and unwavering, showing me everything without saying a word and because of that there was comfortable silence between us that we didn't feel the need to break, not for now anyway. This was enough for now. After weeks apart just seeing and hearing each other like this was a fact worth marveling over.

Except that we weren't really together. Magnus wasn't really here and it was killing me because all I wanted at the moment was to be able to touch him, hug him, kiss him…But I can't because he's not really here, he is still in his loft with a spell letting him be here by spirit. Like a hologram. Able to be seen and heard, to see and hear, but without any possibility to touch. None whatsoever.

I know I shouldn't be so greedy and just be happy I'm able to even see him like this considering the circumstances. But By The Angel I miss his warmth and touch so much.

"I got a cat you know." Magnus broke the silence first making me snap out of my thoughts. "He's really small. I named him Chairman Meow and you really need to meet him. You'll love him I know it."

I smiled for what must be the first time in weeks. Just seeing the look on his face as he talked about the cat, that fondness, it was hard not to. "Of course you named him that. How come you decided to get a cat though? You never talked about it before."

"Well it wasn't really a decision. I found him alone on the streets and he looked so small and lost I couldn't just leave him there. He looked too cute."

I chuckled at his answer. "Well I can't wait to meet him."

"I can't wait to see you." Magnus said softly, eyes on me open and full of love and longing.

"You are seeing me right now." It was hard to keep up the straight face as the atmosphere in the room changed but I still managed somehow even if everything I wanted at the moment is run to him so I can hug him, feel him.

"You know that's not what I mean." His response was quiet but still there.

"I know." I sighed wishing again. "I cant wait either. I miss you so much."

"I love you."

"I know." It hurt to say it but I still did. That didn't lessen the pain in my chest though. All I could do was hope that he could see it all in my eyes. See everything that I couldn't say.

There was silence again before he broke it again. With lighter themes this time. Asking about Jem, Jace and Izzy. And in return telling me about Chairman Meow. How he got into his glitter stash and ate half of it and how lucky it was that it was edible glitter.

The more we talked the more relaxed I felt until we were both laughing at the stories going back and forth. As I talked how Izzy tried to sneak up on Jem to find out more about him but only managed to almost fall down the stairs in the process. And in return Magnus told me about one of his long lost friends that he got into contact again who is so green you wouldn't be able to see him if he lied down on a field.

And just like that hours passed. Hours of sharing stories and hours filled with laughter. Hours where I, for even just a little bit, managed to forget that we are miles apart. It was nice. For the first time in a long time I felt good.

…

It was two am and I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning but just couldn't sleep. There was just some bad feeling at the pit of my stomach, enabling me to calm down enough to sleep. It got to the point where my feathers because rustled and some ever littered the floor. Feathers falling off is nothing new or out of the ordinary but it was annoying when I had to get up at two am so I can clean them up because I can't sleep.

With a heavy heart and tired body I ended up going to the kitchen to get a glass of water and maybe a sleeping pill. Yeah a sleeping pill may be helpful.

It has been hours since Magnus 'left' and I still felt a little lighter then what I did lately. It was a nice feeling after so long. I would have loved it even more if the dreadful feeling of anticipation would go away. Sadly I knew it won't. I also knew that my bad feeling are always true and that didn't help but situation in the slightest. I was still hoping for the best though.

As I got closer to the kitchen I was surprised to see that the light was on and there was some clutter coming from the inside signaling that someone is there. Who would be awake at this hour?

My answer was shown as I stepped inside and was met by a sight of silver hair and pail body of a person standing by the window with a glass in hand.

"He went out." Jem spoke quietly, eyes still gazing outside.

I sighed at his words and went to get a glass of water as intended. "I figured as much."

"He has been going out for days now." Jem continued thinking that I probably don't know.

I did though. I knew for the beginning. From our talk weeks ago. I know my brother too well to have any illusions in my mind that he won't go against the rules and his own safely just to see her. I know him too good.

Noticing that I wasn't saying anything Jem finally turned around to look at me. I could see the eye bags under his eyes. He really does worry about all of this a lot doesn't he? Wants to make sure we are okay.

He looked at me more closely for a moment before speaking again. "You knew didn't you? You knew from the beginning. Did he tell you?"

"No. But I know him." I answered simply with a shrug. "Its hard to hide something from me when its him. I knew he wouldn't be able to resist from the very beginning. I just hope that it won't make any more problems for us. And if it does that he will come to me."

"What will you do if he does?"

"Whatever is needed." I answered simply with a sad smile. "You should know that best." And with that I left. Leaving him bemused.

I don't know much about him. And I don't really know why he was so fast to help but before as much as now. But I did hear things here and there in listening to Magnus and him talk. An angel fell. His friend fell. That's all I could get. But from the look on his face when he is thinking about it it's not hard to understand the rest of the story. At least that little that I can get from the little information I have. He couldn't help his friend so he's helping us now. Trying to redeem himself. He understands what sacrifice means.

It took hours more but I was finally able to fall asleep.

Only to get a really loud wake up call.

"Alec! Alec!" There was a sound of a door being opened with too much force and swinging into a wall loudly. "Alec!"

My eyes opened to a wide eyed Jace. Wide eyed terrified Jace.

"Hey hey happened." I was awake in a matter of second, my hands on his shoulders to keep him still as I stood in front of him in my pajamas.

"They know. They found out. They're coming." He was shaking slightly as he said it and it took me a moment to calm him down again. He looked like he's ready to run and pass out at the same time.

"What do they know? Hey look at me. What exactly do they know?" I asked desperately. Already trying to think of all the ways I can fix this. Maybe it's not too late.

"They know that one of us left a mark on a human. Actually marks. There are more then a few humans with angel marks. But I swear I didn't do it. I promise its just Clary. I swear I didn't. But they don't know who it is. Well they will in a minute when they see me. By The Angel I shouldn't have let this happen. I shouldn't have been so careless. But we can fight. We can run." My heart sank at his words as he kept talking too fast, looking desperate.

Jem what did you do? He is the only one who would do something like this I know it. He put himself on the line so that they can't pin it to Jace by finding Clary and reading her mind. If there are more humans with marks its not that easy to find only one. It's not that easy to find the one. And Jem knows this. That idiot. He shouldn't have done this. He will get in trouble if they find out. By The Angel there is no way out of this is there?

"I can fix this. I need to fix this." The words left my mouth as my mind searched desperately for a way out and not finding one. Well actually there was one… Shit.

"How? How can you fix this? You can't. No one can. I should have been more careful. I'm sorry. This is all my fault. They are going to make me fall."

"No they wont. They won't know it's you." I said sternly.

"What are you talking about? My aura is getting pink and you know it. It's getting a human mark. It's not white anymore Alec. They're going to see that it's not white anymore. I'm sorry. So sorry."

"It's fine. It's fine." I took a deep breathe to calm down. Knowing what I have to do. "Where is Clary?"

"At home. But the angels are almost here I can feel it."

"I know I can too." My hold on him got stronger. "You will jump out of that window right now and go to her." He looked at me in surprise and opened his mouth to speak but I continued. "No we wont fight. There is no point in it. You will run. You will run and hide until Jem gets to you. He will I promise. And I will get you out of this. You won't fall. Even if it's the last thing I do you won't."

"Alec-"

"No. Go. Now." I pushed him quickly towards the open window and he finally did as I said and flew away making me sigh in relief for a second before my door was busted open again showing golden wings and pale bodies of the only angels I ever feared.

The Archangels.

Taking one last deep breathes and closing my eyes I did the only thing I could to save my family. I tore the bracelet off of my wrist.

Even with closed eyes I could still see the light that was surrounding me now. Bright and strong. Screaming demon mark to anyone able to see it.

For a moment there was nothing. It was like time stood still. And then there were hands on me. On my wings. On my arms. Keeping me down.

And finally there was pain.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_So yeah…I'm just…I have nothing to say. Please don't kill me. I'm sorry if Jace is a bit ooc but I tried for him not to be too much. Yeah that's all. Please review and I will update soon._

_So review my lovelies._


	17. Chapter 16

_Hi! Sorry for the wait but I have a really good excuse this time. A really good excuse as in I have read CoHF! So first of all a little rant shall we. It was awesome and amazing and just so so beautiful. A perfect ending to TMI. My babys! I won't put anything to spoil here for those who haven't read it yet but as for those who have feel free to PM me. I need someone to rant and fangirl with me!_

_Okay now that that's done with lets go on with the chapter shall we. I know I left you with a pretty big cliffy last time. So here you go. Hope you like it._

Pain.

Pain.

Blood.

Pain.

There were flashes. Flashes of pain and blood. Flashes of gold feathers and smiles to make your blood turn cold. There was no light. Just darkness.

I could see it all. Feel it all in flashes because it hurts too much. Too much to stay conscious. Flashes of red and black. Runes disappearing and wings getting torn. My wings.

And then just more blood. More pain. So much pain.

It was like I was living through it again. I was shaking and hurting. Feeling their hands on me. Keeping me down. Pushing. Tearing. Hurting.

There was a taste of copper in my mouth and for a moment I wondered if I bit my tongue at some point before dismissing it because I probably did. All that I could remember was blood. So much blood. I was surely covered in it.

I had to get up but I couldn't. All I could do was shake and try to make the pain subdue but I could still see it all behind my closed eyelids. I could still feel it all.

There was not a cohered thought in my mind other then pain.

Sparks and sparks of pain that turned into a fast burning fire that just wouldn't subdue. So much pain.

It took hours maybe for the buzzing in my ears to subdue but I still couldn't hear anything. There was nothing. There is nothing anymore; I thought as I curled into myself with a cry of pain. I am nothing.

A whisper of the wind passed over me but I could barely feel it. My wings-By the Angel my wings…I couldn't feel it. Just pain and coldness and fire.

Magnus...

There was a whisper in my ear. Magnus. Magnus. Magnus. It was like a never-ending chant and my thoughts finally started clearing. I have to get to Magnus. Magnus will help. I need to get to Magnus.

Just opening my eyes hurt and made me wince but I made myself do it. I made myself open my eyes and stand up with another scream of pain only to fall back to my knees in a dizzying haze. My eyes couldn't focus. The tears were falling and everything was hazy. Covered in spots and red. Except for the ground. The ground around me was covered in black. Black feathers. My feathers.

Just thinking about it made me wince. I couldn't look at it. It hurt.

The base of my wings, where they connected with my back, was pulsing. Making every heartbeat hurt as I made myself stand on shaky legs once again. They barely held my weight but they still did.

It took me a few minutes to notice where I am through the pulsing in my head along with the haze of my pain. But when I did I couldn't be more relived to find out I was only half a block away from Magnus's loft. I felt like passing out but made myself start walking, or more like stumbling, on wobbly legs. Leaning onto anything I could use as support as I did. I needed to focus. I needed to keep walking because I need to get to Magnus. I needed to keep conscious.

It was a pain and I kept falling and almost passing out but I finally managed to get to his building door.

The edges of my vision were turning black and I knew I will pass out soon. I welcomed it. Darkness meant no pain and if there was anything I needed right then it was for the pain to stop because it's too much.

But I can't yet. I need to get to Magnus first. I need to buzz his doorbell.

I need to…Magnus…I…

The last thing I remember before hitting the cold ground and passing out was a buzz of the doorbell.

…

Everything hurt. That was the first thing that my newly conscious mind noticed. Everything hurt but in a numb way. It wasn't agonizing pain like before. This was more of a remembrance of pain then actual pain. And it left me confused because last I remember I was pulsing with pain like fire raging my whole body and mind.

It was then that I felt soft cherishes.

Long fingers combing through my wings carefully, lovingly. It made me let out a soft sigh and forget the pain for a minute. The touch felt too good. Foreign and familiar at the same time.

It was when I remembered why it's foreign that I froze. My wings are different now. They are not angel wings anymore. They are black and they are torn. They are the wings of a fallen angel. I am a fallen angel. The mere thought hit me like cold water and made me shake because I am a fallen angel now.

I have fallen.

"Darling. Darling breathe." There was a soft whisper from my right as Magnus continued combing through my wings but now with another hand drawing soothing circles on my bare back. "Deep breathes Alexander. You are going to be fine. Everything will be fine. Just breathe love. Breathe."

I tried listening to him. Focusing on his steady breathing and soft touches and after a while my breathing finally managed to calm down. But my heart still hurt. The tears still welled up in my eyes.

"That's right. Just breathe. Breathe and go back to sleep. You're tired love. You need sleep to get better."

I still haven't said anything yet and was about to argue saying that I don't need to sleep when my body started feeling really heavy. My eyes closing without my consent as sleep started taking me.

"That's right. Just sleep love. Sleep." With Magnus's soothing voice and touch I did just that.

Falling into a dreamless sleep without black wings, blood and pain. There was just soothing nothingness.

Beautiful nothingness.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_I know it's short. I'm sorry. It's just that I'm still not over the book but I couldn't leave you guys waiting either. So yeah it's short but hopefully good? Really hope you liked it._

_So you know please review my lovelies._


	18. Important Authors Note!

Hi!

I'm sorry, this is not an update but it is important so please read. So yeah without further ado let's get to the point.

As you all should know I said I will stop writing Malec fanfiction once CoHF comes out but considering that "Worth It", "All Fall Down" and "You And I" are still ongoing that is not possible. So I have a proposition here; This summer will be my farewell. I will finish the ongoing ones and post whatever more ideas I have. So long story short, this AN is to tell you what those stories are gonna be and when they are going to be posted.

For those of you who have followed me and my stories since Wrong But Right you should remember last summer when I basically posted every day. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do that this time because now I have my EXO fics and my originals too should be my priority now so it probably won't be as good as before but its gonna be a fun and productive summer still.

So first of all; my summers break starts after next week but I failed math so I have to have a do-over exam at the end of this month so I'm not actually sure how much I will be able to post this month because of that so bare with me until next month.

**And now on to the stories!**

Let's start with the ongoing ones, shall we.

**Worth It **has about ten more chapters maybe, if not even less, and should be done by the end of the month if I can. If not you already know why.

**All Fall Down **is basically my forgotten baby because I love it but it always gets sidetracked to other fics being updated. Sorry. As you already know it has four more chapters, and do to one of you asking me nicely and threatening me to, it will be updated by the end of the week. Hopefully tomorrow though so fingers crossed. It will hopefully be completely done soon too. Sorry for the overly long wait between chapters. Again…

**You And I **has about five more chapters just like I said because it was never meant to be that long and the most I will do with that story is ten chapters. Also I should apologize in advance because there will probably be a bit of a long wait between chapters, so sorry. I'll try for it not to be though.

**And now for the new stories. **(I will need a little help with this one)

The first one that is at the top of my list is **Broken**. It is a one more oneshot tied to All Alone, only this one isn't Malec but is Izzy and Alec at his worst so if you read All Alone I think you should check it out once it's posted. Which will hopefully be soon.

The next are CoHF oneshots (you all knew it was coming). There will be at least two Malec oneshots of scenes that were mentioned but not written throughout the book. You are welcome to give me prompts if you want. And not just for CoHF but if you want me to write anything tied to my previous stories or something completely new really too, just send it and I'll try. I am not writing the CoHF ones before I finish Worth It though. I need to priorities here and maybe wait for more of you to get the book and read it.

**And now finally for the last but not least part of this AN.**

I needed a project for the summer and I thought of the best way possible to say farewell to Malec fanfiction. I will open a story and write in it Disney classics but with a shadowhunter and, more importantly, a Malec twist to it. Because I love Disney and know I can make this the greatest story of them all. All the stories will be in one fanfic because if I start them all separately I am scared I will start one before finishing another and with that just make more work for myself. So long story short I am not starting this story until I finish off All Fall Down and I also need some help with what to name this collection of wonderful stories so please do PM me with suggestions for it. **Also PM me with the replies for the things I wrote above too.** Now back to my Disney baby. The first story will be **Alec In Wonderland** which will be the only ones based on the book while the others will be based on cartoons. And by 'Alec In Wonderland' I don't mean' Alec-the helpless maiden-In Wonderland'; I mean 'Alec-the sassy awkward shadowhunter-In Wonderland' after a hunt gone wrong. All of the stories will be more or less like that too so you can expect a lot of fun here. The list of stories so far is: Alec In Wonderland, Beauty And The Beast, Aladin, Peter Pan (maybe), Tarzan (also maybe), The little Merman, and the only non-classic that will be in this- Tangled. Because I can do so much with that. Plus it's awesome.

**If you have any more ideas of what Classic I should do PM me please and I'll see.** Every Disney story will be up to 5 chapters and no more but since its all together in one place the story will be quite long.

And I guess that's that. Nothing more to say. Hope you understood all this. If not feel free to PM me again.

Please so PM me with answers and replies and suggestions. Hope I didn't take too much of your time and thanks for reading this and just reading my stories all together. Every follower, favorite and review means a lot. Sop thank you all. I love every one of you.

I'll try actually posting by the end of the week too. Again sorry for the overly long AN but it needed to be done. And don't forget to keep an eye out for the new stories.

**Oh and is anyone is willing to proofread basically everything I wrote? Finished and not? Because I really want to but don't have the time. Even just a few of them I would appreciate a lot because I can't just leave them like this. It's been bugging me for ages.**

Anyway thanks for everything, love you all.

Magnus Glitter Bane Alec


	19. Chapter 17

_The next chapter is here. I hope you like it._

The sun was up. I could feel if even before opening my eyes. I could feel the afternoon sun streaks lingering on my skin and slowly waking me up. It was a nice way to wake up though. For those few moments there wasn't a care in the world. Just my tired body on a soft bed with the warmth of the afternoon sun lingering on my bare skin.

I couldn't pretend forever though. The more my mind started waking up the more I remembered. And as I opened my eyes slowly and was met with a black feather on the pillow next to me it was all too real. It wasn't a nightmare. It really happened. I've really fallen.

With hesitant fingers I reached for it, touching the soft feather before slowly taking it into my hand. As I watched it there was a flesh of remembrance. A flash of white on the otherwise black. Because it was white just a day before-was it even a day or more?-It was white but now it's black. Black as the nights sky without the moon and the stars. It looked like it was sucking all the light out of the room. It was a black hole. Just like I am. I am a black hole now.

Cautiously I fluttered my wings. Just to get the feel of them. To see if they still feel the same. But they didn't. They felt numb and tingly at the same time. I guess that's normal for newly transformed wings though. That's to be expected.

They felt somehow heavier too. The weight was off somehow. What once was light wasn't anymore. But what once was white wasn't either so that should be normal too right. Nothing about this was normal though. This isn't normal.

I slowly sat up, my whole body sore and tired, and extended one of my wings to the side before putting it in my lap. My breath caught at the sight of it. It really was a black hole. Pitch black and menacing. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It's supposed to be white. This isn't right. There were tears in my eyes but I didn't let them fall. I couldn't. I can't cry over this. I shouldn't. I need to stay strong. I had no other choice. I had no other choice…

The wings were surprisingly neat. Barely any rustled feathers in sight. It was then that I remembered Magnus. He combed them. He groomed them while I was asleep. He wanted to make all of this as easy for me as possible. With my hands shaking again I combed my fingers through a few feathers. It still felt nice. They were still sensitive. And they really would have looked nice.

If they weren't black.

With that thought I curled my hand into a fist, pulling a dozen feathers out and screaming in agony because it hurt like hell. Wings are sensitive. Wings were always sensitive. But I still didn't pull my hand out. Even as the tears of pain stung my eyes and the raging fire of pain was back again I didn't pull my hand away. On the contrary actually. I fisted in tighter. I plunged the other hand mercilessly into the black cursed feathers and pulled. Making me scream and yell but not let go as more and more feathers littered the bed around me. Black feathers. Cursed feathers.

I hate them. I hate them. I hate them.

I kept tearing. Kept pulling because this is not supposed to happen. They are not supposed to be like this. It isn't natural. Wings are white, not black. They aren't supposed to suck the light out but give it. This isn't right. Nothing here is right.

A hand on my wrist shook me out of it. Out of my haze of pain and hate. Snapping my eyes up to meet concerned gold and green ones. And as I kept watching my hands slowly relaxed their grip. Fingers slowly letting go as Magnus carefully pulled my hands away and held them in one of his softly while his other hand went to my cheek without a word and he slowly whipped something wet off it. When did the tears start to fall?

Still not saying anything he leaned in and kissed my forehead reassuringly, lingering just a moment too long, before sitting down next to me and carefully transferring the wing from my lap to his before starting to comb through it with long fingers making me whimper because it still hurt so much. But he was careful. Softly combing the feathers in place. The touch so loving and careful I couldn't help but lean into it and close my eyes. Relaxing little by little as he continued.

We must have sat there for hours. My anger and hate and pain slowly draining out of me with every soft stroke. Every touch so loving it was like saying 'I love you' without words. And that's what made me relax more then anything. His fingers feeling like heaven combing through my wings that were like hell.

As his movements started slowing down I opened my eyes again. Glancing sideways to see the wing that was previously torn. It wasn't anymore. It was smooth just like before. Groomed with outmost care and love. The thought made me feel bad because Magnus did that before too but I still tore at them so easily. I shouldn't have done that. They are my wings. Black or not. I shouldn't have done that.

He was still combing softly but it wasn't for the grooming anymore as it was for reassurance. He knew I was hurting and wanted to make it better. If only by something as little as combing through the soft feathers. But he was looking at me, with a question in his eyes, and I knew it was time to start talking.

"They were after Jace not me." I started while looking down at the bed cover and black feathers that were on it. A contrast of black on yellow. "I-I just couldn't-I…"

"You took the blame didn't you? You sent him away and you let them see." He sounded sad. Like he was in pain too and it made me lean into him. My side to his because I need him now more then ever. And then I nodded because he is right. He knows I would do anything to keep my family safe so he just hugged me now.

The flashbacks were back and with them so was the shaking. I pulled both my wings around myself as shelter with Magnus putting his arms around me over them, keeping me safe too. I could feel every whole in my wings where the feathers were torn. Dozens and dozens of feathers. And I remember every one of them. I remember every tor and scream. I remember every hand grabbing and pulling and hurting. I remember everything. Everything.

"They-They wouldn't let go." I said but it sounded more like a whimper, making him hold me tighter. "They said no."

"What love? No to what? What did they do?" He asked and this time his voice was on a verge of shaking. He never saw me this shaken. No one ever saw me this shaken.

"They tore at my wings, cut at my skin, pulled at the base until the bone cracked." I said in a whisper and was enveloped by shocked silence.

"They didn't plan on letting you go did they? They weren't just supposed to make you fall." His voice was shocked and choked up. Angel filling every word.

I shook my head and looked at his eyes again. Saw the pain and anger of the possibilities. A possibility that I could have never come back.

"When I said 'let go' they didn't. When I said that they are killing me they didn't stop. When the wing was so near to breaking apart they still didn't." I said in a daze, eyes glazed over as I remembered it all again and my hand going to said wing as I remembered the pain. The pain and knowledge that they are going to tear it apart. They are going to tear me apart. "When it hit me that they wont just make me fall and let go but that they will kill me I fought harder. Everything hurt and I was near passing out but I remembered you. I needed to get back to you. And I couldn't let them tear me apart. I couldn't."

"It's going to be okay love. You're okay now. You got out. You got out for me baby." Magnus cooed but I wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure me or him at this point. Probably both though. We both needed it.

"They will come after me Magnus. They won't stop until I'm dead." I was shaking again and it was suddenly very cold but Magnus held on tight and that was all I could ask for at the moment. All I needed at the moment.

"I love you. I won't let them get to you. We will find I way. I promise." He sent me a smile, reassuring me, wanting to make me feel better. "I promise."

I buried my face into his shoulder, hoping with all my heart that he will be able to keep his promise. That we will both get out of this alive.

"I know. I know."

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Sooo I'm sorry. This was supposed to be fluff but ended up more sad. Sorry. I hope you liked it though. I'll post soon again. The second I'm done with the exams next week. I promise._

_But for now…Review my lovelies._

_(Oh and as for the guest who asked where I post my EXO fanfiction, its on asianfanfics under the name hunhan5)_


	20. Chapter 18

_Hi there! The next chapter is here. I'm trying to post everything at least once this week so wish me luck on that. Also this chapter is a little…different. But is like that for a reason so I hope you'll like it._

The pass of soft feathers through my hand felt nice and the almost purr it got from the blue eyed angel sleeping snugly next to me was nice too. This whole situation felt kind of surreal really. It has been four days and he's still here. Still waking up next to me every morning and going to sleep in the same bed every night. It was really nice.

I couldn't help but stare while he was next to me like this. He is all mine. My own angel. Mine and mine alone.

It still felt weird to think that, think that we can finally be together after so long. And yes maybe we won't survive the next week or even the next day but we are here now. We are together. And that's all that matters for now. That's all that ever mattered.

As I continued to comb through the pitch black wings I couldn't help but marvel at them. He may not think it but they are still breathtaking. Still beautiful. He is beautiful and I will make him see it again. See just how beautiful he is even now when he has fallen. If anything his wings are even more beautiful now. They may have been white before and he may not be a full angel anymore but they symbolize his bravery. They show just how much he loves me and his family. He has fallen to save his brother. Not many would do that. And by doing so he is mine now. Because he chose me. He chose us. And we are together now. It's more then any of us could ever dare to hope for but here we are. Together in bed with nowhere to rush, nowhere to go.

And it may not be perfect but it's as perfect as we can get.

My hand stopped moving for a second and the wing, in witch it was buried in, twitched.

"Keep going." A sleepy voice rasped from next to me, making me let out a puff of laughter.

"I thought you were asleep love." I said as I continued grooming the black wings, watching as his body relaxed again and practically melted into the soft mattress below us.

"I was." Was his only answer and it came out as a breathy whisper.

I couldn't help but chuckle at how adorable he was acting and not even a minute later he was asleep once again. Lulled to sleep with my fingers passing softly through his feathers.

There was silence for a minute. Only filled with little puffs of air coming from Alec and then there it one. The reason why I always stay up just a little bit longer then him. The reason for everything.

"I love you Magnus." It was a barely there whisper but still audible in the silence of the room.

I smiled softly, my gaze falling on the sleeping boy, one hand moving to slowly move the hair off of his face only to see a small peaceful smile there.

Seeing him like this, a pang went through my chest.

"I love you too." I answered even though he couldn't hear me just like I always do. "I love you too Alexander."

This is the only way I can hear him say it. The only time he does. When he's asleep and his guard is down.

He doesn't know it. No one knows but me. It's the only thing keeping me going at times. It's the thing that made me run as fast as I could when they found us after we were foolish enough to run away. The fact that, even though he doesn't say it when he's awake, he still loves me. He always did.

"My Alexander." I cherished his cheek slightly and he leaned into the touch. "I hope I can hear you say it while awake one day. Because I love you too. So so much."

The first time I heard hum say it was right before I suggested running away. It was the reason why I did it in the first place. Hearing him actually say he loves me, even if while asleep, gave me hope. And even though it lasted only three days it were still the best three days of my life. And I have lived for a long long time.

My fingers still combed steadily through the soft wings that were spread out on the bed while Alexander slept on his stomach and it made me remember the first time he ever let me groom him.

"_I wish we wouldn't have to hide away like this." Alec said as we both laid down on the floor surrounded by pillows. We were not originally meant to be on the floor, but just relaxing on the couch in front of the TV, however the floor somehow suddenly looked comfortable and I couldn't resist summoning a pile of pillows and pulling my beautiful angel down on them to lie next to me. Just relaxing in the silence surrounding us. His hand ending up in mine with his head on my shoulder and wings folded behind his back like they always were._

_They looked beautiful though. So pearly white and just…pure. It was hard sometimes to resist touching them, feeling how soft the feathers really are… But I never acted on it. An angels wings are sensitive and angels rarely let anyone touch them so letting a warlock do so isn't someone anyone would do. So I never let myself cross that line and make Alec uncomfortable. I refuse to do so._

"_I wish so too." I replied, putting an arm around his shoulder and pulling him closer so he was completely pressed against me now. He just let me do so and shifted slightly to get more comfortable. Only by doing so accidentally brushing a few feathers against my hand making him freze in place and with that making me do so too._

"_I…" I let go of him instantly and moved a little away, hoping he didn't notice how my hand followed the wing and brushed it one more time before I could stop myself. I just couldn't help it, the feathers were as soft as I imagined, if not even more so._

"_It's-It's fine." He said in a whisper, moving his wing slowly so it was touching my hand again ever so slightly in invitation. "You can touch them if you'd like."_

_My head snapped up in surprise. Did he just-Did he just give me permission to touch his wings?_

_Alec's eyes were averted from mine, focused down on my shirt instead, as if it was suddenly the most interesting thing ever. And it may have been a fabulous shirt, mind you, but not that fabulous._

"_Alexander…" I started slowly, careful because maybe he doesn't want to. Maybe he's not so sure. But all I got was a light blush coloring his pale cheeks slightly red and a barely, but still there, nod._

_Ever so slowly, and still focused on his face for any signs of change, I moved my hand that final inch and passed my fingers softly through the white feathers._

_He shivered and closed his eyes with a small smile. Spreading his wing more and urging me on, which I gladly answered to by burying my fingers into the feathers more firmly and grooming it properly but still softly. Getting a surprised moan out of Alec, and by the blush that suddenly covered his cheeks just before he buried his head onto my chest, it surprised him too._

_My hand stilled for a second but the wing just twitched more into my grasp._

"_More." Alec mumbled onto my chest and I complied without any more hesitation. Getting more soft moans and whimpers as I continued grooming his wings_

The memory made me smile.

Even though his wings were black now they were still the same. Still perfect in my eyes. He was still perfect in my eyes. And hopefully he will start seeing it again soon.

He doesn't deserve this. Any of this.

But then again when did any of us really deserve what we got.

"I will keep you safe." I whispered, bending down and kissing his forehead, lingering a little bit to just marvel at the feeling of his soft skin.

The sound of the buzzer echoed from outside the bedroom.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_So yeah this is the fluff that was supposed to be the previous chapter. But its here now. Its also the one and only chapter in Magnus's pov. Also I am sorry but not really about the 'I love you' thing. I just like torturing you guys. _

_Anyway I think it's about time you know that this is basically the whole reason why this fic was created in the first place. WING GROOMING. I'm sorry but I have a weird obsession with wings and wing grooming and this chapter was basically the reason for the whole fic to be born. I'm not even joking here. I've been waiting to write this for so long. So yeah now you know._

_Please review my lovelies._


	21. Chapter 19

_Guess who passed all the makeup exams! I failed Croatian too so there were two. That is also the reason why I couldn't post at all lately. I just couldn't juggle two subjects and writing. So, sorry for the wait but I said I'll post when it's done so I am. It's kind of short but here you go. Hope you like it. _

The sound of the buzzer woke me up.

"Go back to sleep darling." Magnus whispered from next to me, already moving to get up.

I just sighed and shook my head, getting up too because I wasn't as relaxed anymore. There was no point in trying to sleep now that Magnus isn't grooming my wings anymore. I love it when he does that and he always does when we go to sleep. One of the reasons why I love night the most. And the only reason why I could even fall asleep the past few days. I appreciated what he was doing and loved him for doing everything to make it better for me.

I'm going to get better soon though. So he doesn't have to worry so much anymore. I will. I have to.

Magnus sighed as he turned and saw me standing next to the bed just like he was. The bed that was rumpled and messy, covered in blankets with feathers here and there. I don't think I was up that much since I came here. But the sight of black feathers didn't make me sick anymore. And that was good. That was very good. "Alec you really don't have to get up."

"No, I'm fine." I said, stretching my wings once wide before folding them against my back comfortably. They dragged on the floor a little like that but it's nice in a way. Something I only do at home and this is home. "I'm a light sleeper anyway so I can't just go back to sleep. And if that's Jem that means that Jace should be with him too, so I need to come with." I knew that the only other person other than me who knows where Magnus lives is Jem so there really was no way I'm staying in bed. I need to know Jace is okay and only Jem can give me that at this point.

"Fine but stay out of sight in case it's someone else." We both started walking as he said that and I just nodded even though he couldn't see me since he was walking in front of me but he didn't have to. He knew I will hide out just like he said.

As I waited by the door of the bedroom I listened. I listened to hear that familiar voice. I listened to hear that my brother is okay, that my sacrifice was worth it and my actions made a difference he needed to keep his wings white and intact.

"Where is he? Move! Where is he?!" A voice boomed through the lodge and it was so familiar it hurt. I was out of the door and running through the loft almost immediately at hearing it. Every bad feeling and ounce of worry melting out of me the second I saw blond hair, golden eyes and those beautiful perfect white wings behind his back. Unfolded like always but this time instead of feeling annoyed I wanted to laugh out of relief. He's still a full angel. He's okay. Jace is okay.

"Alec?" Jace who was staring at me with wide eyes was regarded shocked for the first time in his life and it was me who he was looking at. My wings to be more exact. On his face I could see shock and regret but most of all I could see it wasn't be he was blaming. It was himself. But he couldn't be more wrong about that. "What happened? What did you do?"

Before I could answer there was another voice cutting in. "I think maybe we should come in first for this conversation. Don't you think so Magnus?" It was Jem. I didn't even notice him until now, too focused on Jace. But he was there. Standing right next to Jace. But now that I pulled my gaze off of Jace I noticed he wasn't the only one. There was one more. A boy looking no older than the rest of us, but then again that doesn't mean anything. How old you look means nothing for an angel. Not when you're immortal. And this one was an angel. You could see it from his eyes. The age. The years and decades past in those dark blue eyes settled under black hair that was slightly mussed and framed his pale face. But it wasn't that what made me stop. It were the wings I could see behind him. Wings black as night without a star in sight.

This was no ordinary angel. This was a fallen angel. He is just like me. The thought brought a pang of something to my chest.

Noticing that I've been staring he spoke for the first time. "Hello there Alexander. I heard so much about you. I'm William. You can call me Will. So nice to finally meet you."

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_So like I said it's not that long but it's an update. Really hoped you liked it and will review. Also what do you want me to post tomorrow out of the ongoing ones? Since I'll try and post them all by the end of the week just because I can. By The Angel it's nice to be able to write 24/7 again. Also I'll try and make the updates daily but since there are EXO fics to write too I may skip a day every now and again so just keep that in mind. Other than that so many updates and new stories coming your way guys. Ready? Because I know I am not but trust me I'll love this. _

_Anyway, review my lovelies._


	22. Chapter 20

_Sorry for not posting anything the past two days but I was packing to go to the seaside, but guess what? This time I kind of have internet so yay updates. I'll try to keep them up. Next up after this is All Fall Down by the way. Just thought to let you know. But for now here you go. Hope you like it._

"Will. I didn't think I'll see you here. I heard you're in hiding." Magnus was the first to speak and I turned to him in shock. They know each other?

"I heard the same thing about you." Will answered with a spark in his eyes that I saw when I looked back at him. How do they know each other again?

"We need to get inside." It was Jem again. "Now Will." He said when no one moved at his words.

Jace was still staring at me in shock and I was doing the same to Will but we all still moved further inside the loft. Closing the door and getting seated in all the newly appeared chairs and couches in the living area. Courtesy of Magnus of course, who ended up seated on a love seat next to me with Jem and Will on a couch in front of ours. Jace was next to a chair on our right but didn't sit down. No, he just kept staring at me so I finally tore my eyes from the other fallen angel in the room and focused on him. Dreading the conversation we are about to have.

"I had to do it." I said, barely above a whisper but he heard it judging from how stiff he got.

"You had to do what? Tell me what exactly is happening here Alec." He was trying to keep calm, I could see that. But I could also see he maybe won't be able to for long because he was clearly freaking out. Who could blame him though? Finding your brother fallen and with a warlock after he said he'll fix something as big as what he did can't send someone happy thoughts. If only he knew that what I did was much worse then what he did. But I guess it's time he does. "Tell me what you did." He whispered and all I could do was close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"This." I took off a necklace that has been around my neck since I woke up in Magnus's loft. He never said it but I knew what it was. The lack of a visible aura was a clue enough. I could hear his breath catch in shock and it took Magnus's hand running soothingly over my left wing for me to open my eyes and look at him again. See the shock and betrayal on his face. Because he finally knows my lies. And that is something I never did to him before. Lie. "You didn't deserve to fall. I couldn't let you fall. Not with everything you have to lose. You could have lost Clary Jace. I couldn't let that happen. I had to protect you. You have to understand that."

"No you didn't. How could you…You lost so much because of me. You should have let me fall." Jace said after a moment of shocked silence. Looking defeated as he lowered himself on the chair.

I let out a small laugh. "I didn't lose as much as you would. I knew I had somewhere to go but you didn't. Plus I wanted to run away for so long and letting myself fall so you don't seemed like the best for both of us really. I get an out and you get to stay."

"Except," Jem spoke before Jace could, making me remember he was still there. "You didn't get an out did you?" He was looking at one of my wings. The one that still looked slightly broken. The one that was so close to being ripped out.

"No I didn't. But I escaped. I'm alive." I was refusing to look at Jace now. He doesn't need to know everything.

"Maybe not for long though. They will find you." It was Will who spoke this time and all of ours attention was on him. Especially mine. His black wings fluttered slightly before he spoke again. "I escaped too. They are not fond on us being with Downworlders it seems. But I escaped and barely at that. You should have seen how I was when Jem took me to Catharina. I barely got out with my life. But they did ménage to find me again no matter how much I ran. If it wasn't for Jem I would have died then." There was a pause before he continued. Staring straight at Magnus instead of me now. "They killed Tessa though. I couldn't stop them." His eyes were back on me again. Dark blue like a storm was taking place in them. "But we will stop them this time. I owe Magnus my life and I am not going to watch him die. Jem and I both. What about you?"

"None of us are going to die." I found myself saying and he smiled for the first time.

"Good."

Later on as we all found ourselves talking about the places where we can go hide for a while, Jace with us of course since he wouldn't go with knowing I'm in danger no matter the whirlwind of information he just got, I watched Will again. The fallen angel who looked like a painted picture of one. Eyes like hurricanes, skin pale as snow with dark hair mating the pitch black wings extending from his back that e wore with pride it seems. But there was also a feeling of something broken at the sight of him. He was broken.

He was a picture of a fallen angel.

And I was scared to death that he was me. What I will become.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Hope this wasn't a total disaster. Sorry for the short chapter but it's late and I'm half asleep here but I wanted to get you an update so yea. Also I just found my notes for what to do with this story. And I am said to say that I have absolutely no idea what the notes mean and what was my plan after this. Let's hope I remember. Because I really really have to._

_But anyway, please review my lovelies. _


	23. Chapter 21

_I'm so sorry guys. My kind of internet went south right the next day so that's why I couldn't post. That does not mean I didn't write. So you're getting everything updated again plus the small bonus. So three more post's in the next five minutes yay. Hope you'll like this though. So here you go now._

I have been staring for at least half an hour. Staring at Jace who looked lost in thought while drinking his tea. He has been like this for a while now too. He didn't even notice that only him and me and left in the room. Seeing that Jem and Will went to the guest rooms to get some sleep before the morning that is to come and Magnus went to his-our room to do the same. But I'm pretty sure he did so just so Jace and I can have some time to talk alone. To sort everything out. He doesn't know everything yet after all. And he should. I owe him that. And seeing that tomorrow will probably be the last time I see him it's now or never.

My steps towards him were insecure but true and I soon found myself sitting next to him on the couch.

"How is Clary?" I asked, figuring it's the easiest icebreaker.

"Worried." He answered simply. "Izzy is too."

Mention of our sister's name caught me by surprise. She doesn't know anything right? I don't want her to know. "Does she…?"

"Know? No." Jace finally turned to look at me and I took a deep breath at how his golden eyes rested on me. He knows everything now. No more secrets. "Why didn't you tell us though? I know he's a downworlder and it's against everything we know but we're family. Do you really trust us that little?"

"It's not about trusting you." I was looking down at my hands as I said it, trying to think of the right words to continue. He needs to know. I need to trust him. And I do. "I just didn't want you to be in trouble too when it gets found out. We always knew we won't be able to hide it forever. And I wanted you two to be safe when it all goes south."

He sighed at that. "We can take care of ourselves you know. There is no need for that."

"I'm the oldest. It's on me to make sure you two are safe." It wasn't the first time those words left my lips but it was the first time it meant this much. Because I wasn't just shielding them from falling. I was shielding them from dying too.

"It was never on you to shield us from yourself." Jace said and it hit the bull's-eye. "You were in all of this by yourself. You should have told us and not just kept it all on your shoulders for-"

"One hundred years." I finished for him and he looked at me like I just grew another head so I continued before he can say anything. "I've known him for a few hundred years more and he was always trying to get me to be with him. The last hundred years or so we have been sort of dating. It's hard to be with someone when you have to hide all the time though."

"That long?" He asked. Still a bit shocked. "How could you even hide it for so long?"

"We were careful." Was my simple answer but since I'm being honest I didn't stop there. "We did get caught once though. We thought we could run away but it only lasted three days before they found us. Though they thought he abducted me that time."

"That was that time when you got home and locked yourself in your room? By The Angel it makes sense now."

I smiled at that. I shouldn't have kept them in the dark for so long.

There was a light tug on my left wing and I looked down to see Chairman Meow playing with it. Already pulling off two of my feathers off with his claws. "Hey there rascal. You can't do that." I picked him up and sat on my lap. He was already purring as he got more comfortable and demanded to be petted. What, of course. I did.

Chairman was fast to like me when I first came here wounded. When I was still not conscious enough to fully wake up but still kind of waking up every few hours he was there every time. Sleeping next to me. Magnus said he couldn't get him away. And after that the cat kind of stayed too. When he's not demanding Magnus to pet him he's in my lap. I think we spoil him too much.

"I never told him I love him you know." I was looking at Chairman as I said it. "Not even once. He says it all the time but I can't. I still feel like I need to follow the rules. And if I tell him it will make it somehow more true. More real."

"I don't know what to say to that but I guess I understand. You never were the one to go against rules. That's why all of this took me by surprise."

"I guess it did."I looked at him again, looked at those gold eyes of his. "Sorry for not telling you sooner."

"It's fine. You told me now. Are you really going to go to London tomorrow though?"

"We have no choice but to run Jace. You heard Will. So we'll run. Just…Can you please just tell Izzy I said Goodbye? I know she can take care of herself just fine but I don't want her in this."

"I will." Jace said and I smiled at him before standing up and putting Chairman on the armchair he decided was his. He protested when I did but still just continued to sleep. Yes, we are definitely spoiling him too much.

"Well I'm going to sleep. There should be one more spare room somewhere there if you want." I pointed towards the hallways where Will and Jem went before saying Goodnight and mowing to our room.

Magnus wasn't sleeping, just like I thought. He was reading and waiting for me. Putting the book on the bedside table once I entered the room. "How did it go?" He asked while looking up at me.

"It was okay. He knows everything now." I was taking off my clothes as I talked since we both only slept in our underwear. It was in no time that I found myself getting into bed next to him and his fingers were combing through my wings almost immediately. It was something he took to doing since it lulls me to sleep pretty quickly and he seems to be enjoying it too. It's nice.

"You sure you want to go tomorrow?" He asked after a few minutes of silence and all I could do was hum in response to show him I'm listening. "We can maybe think of something else. I know how much you love your family."

I opened my eyes and smiled sleepily at his worried expression. "My family aren't the only ones I love so it's fine. We're going to be fine."

It wasn't really an I love you but it was the closest I ever got to saying it and Magnus seemed pleased at it if the smile was any indication. "I love you too Alexander." Were the last words I heard before finally falling asleep.

Yes, everything is going to be fine. Just fine.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Progress right? Alec is getting closer to saying the three magic words. Now if only they survive tomorrow. We'll see. I'll try posting soon so please tell me what you thought about this one._

_Review my lovelies._


	24. Chapter 22

_Sorry. It's kind of hard to get internet. Also I've been feeling lazy lately so that too is the reason why there were no posts. But here it is now. Hope you like it._

"Do you see anything?" Jem asked as Will peaked from around the corner, trying to see if we can continue safely or not.

My wings were moving restlessly as he did, I couldn't even keep myself calm let alone them. It was because I still couldn't see Magnus anywhere. He is supposed to be here already though. That's what was killing me. He is supposed to be here.

Why didn't we just go sooner? None of this would have happened then. The angels wouldn't have found us and been in front of the loft then. If only we went a little sooner we wouldn't have been in this mess. Magnus wouldn't have separated from us.

But as it is we didn't. And I just keep remembering how we barely got out alive. How Magnus made a portal and ushered in the three of us first before going in too but going somewhere else. All he said is that he needs to do something, but it has been hours since then. More than just a few since I said goodbye to Jace though, who luckily got out before the angel's came. But still it was hours ago that we said goodbye, that I last saw Magnus, that we came to London.

But it was no use. They found us anyway. And I could only hope they didn't find Magnus. I couldn't stand it if they did.

"It's safe. Come on. Quickly." Will said in a hushed voice and we were off again. Running through the streets of London. Trying to avoid the angels that have been chasing us since we came through. It seems there is no luck on our side today. We couldn't even have half an hour in peace before they found us, making us run ever since. And now we still can't because they are still there. Everywhere. Archangels are everywhere.

I recognized some of them too. They were the ones to make me fall. The ones who wanted to rip my wings off and torture me until I finally die. And seeing them did nothing to help my restlessness. I just wanted to get out of this alive. For all of us to get out of this without being ripped apart by archangels. But if it keeps going like this I don't think we will. I'm scared to admit that maybe we won't get out of this alive. Because honestly, right now…I can't see how we can.

Something golden flashed from our right, I only saw it with the corner of my eye but it was enough. The mere smudge was more than enough really. "Run." I whispered quickly and it was enough. Will and Jem didn't even have to ask before running again. And running fast at that.

The archangels were on our tail right away though. Gold wings spread out and their whole face emotionless and cold. Just seeing them like that from one glance over my shoulder was enough to get my stomach turning and heart beating faster. They are here to kill, not take. They will not let us come out of this alive.

"This way." Will turned sharply and dived into an alley, Jem and I right behind him, not stopping even for a second because we can't afford to. We have to run. Run and hide. That was the only thing going through my mind at the moment. We need to run and hide. Survive.

There was a dead end not that far behind though and the second I saw it I knew we will have to stop. And that can't end well for any one of us. I could see the right moment they noticed it too. Could see the despair on their faces.

We would have stopped too. If a few blue sparks didn't appear out of nowhere on the wall in front of us. A few blue sparks after which came more and more until there was a clear portal before us in just a few seconds. A few seconds that saved our lives because we didn't even hesitate to run into it. Just hoping that it was made by whom we thought. Because if not we are dead the second we come through that portal.

However, the second I stabled onto the other side, mind a little hazy from it all, I bumped right into lean chest and familiar arms were around me right away. So familiar I couldn't help but feel relief like never before because Magnus is alive and well. Magnus saved us.

My wings enveloped us both out of instinct the seconds I felt him pressed against me. Working on all the adrenalin still rushing through my veins and a sense of protect and safe that my mind was chanting at the moment. He just held me closer though. Whispering my name into my ear and telling me I was safe. We are safe.

It took a little while for me to let go though. But when I did I could finally see my surroundings. The room looked old. Decorated in a style that dated years back. But still somehow worked with the newly brought beds and furniture that was brought in it, what seems recently. There were no windows as you looked around it.

And as I did I could see that this was our new home. Wherever we are, we are here to stay.

I couldn't work out if that was a good thing or not but at least we are together and hopefully safe. And that's all that matters at the moment. The future can wait.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_And were at the 'no idea what I'm doing here' faze once again. Hope it made sense though. Or did I skip to this too fast? I don't know. I did somehow manage to lose this chapter though. It was half done and I saved it on my laptop but couldn't find later or otherwise it would have been posted sooner. But as you can see I found it again, yay. But yea hope it was good even though it was short._

_Also I did not forget about All Fall Down. It was supposed to be updated when everything else did but those chapters are long and like I said I've been feeling lazy lately. But don't worry I'll get right to it. I hope._

_Anyway please review my lovelies._


	25. Chapter 23

_Sorry for the wait but you know how I get when a story is nearing its end. Anyway here you go. Hope you like it._

"Where are we really?" I asked that night as we lied on the bed with Jem and Will in the other room, probably already asleep with the day we just had.

"A safe house I used some years ago. Well actually it is below a safe house." Magnus answered, somewhat sleepily as he drew circles onto my forearm, a touch so soft I could barely feel it but it still felt so nice. The fingers of his other hand combing through my wings lightly was so nice too, that I felt like I can fall asleep any minute now. But I can't yet. There is something important I need to ask first.

"Do you think we can get through this alive?" My eyes weren't open anymore but the words still passed over my lips.

Hearing them the touch on my forearm stopped, and a second later I was rolled over so I'm lying on my back and facing those gold and green eyes that always make me say yes no matter how bad the consequences can be in the end.

"I love you Alexander. And we will get through this alive. We have been though too much not to." His voice was just a whisper but it rang honest and true. And just like always the 'I love you' made my heart skip a beat and sink at the same time. Because yet again I can't say it back.

Why can't I never say it back?

I was getting frustrated but I didn't show it, instead giving a smile in return and leaning up to kiss the Warlock who is too perfect for me nut still loves me all the same.

If I was him I would have left me long ago and yet he stayed, even after everything he still continues coming back and saying 'I love you's' even though I never do. How can anyone say this is wrong then? How, when a Warlock is so much better and courageous then an angel could ever be?

Before we went away Jace pulled me aside one last time to ask if this is really what I want. He asked if it's worth it. And I didn't even have to think to know that it is. After all, I have done more than enough of thinking and whishing. It's time to get away and be with Magnus no matter the consequences. So yes, it's worth it. It was always worth it. The only thing holding me back was just to courage to see it.

But now I do. And in all honesty, I would rather die while with Magnus then live hundreds and hundreds years more without him.

If anyone wanted a definition of hell that would be it for me. A life without Magnus.

So answering Jace was easy.

What was hard was what came a week after that night.

One week. It lasted one week this time. One week of kissed and talking and just being there, together. I guess I should be happy we got a week this time.

Of course with Jem and Will there we couldn't go any further then kisses but neither of us minded, just being together was enough.

But eight days later all I could see was a furry of gold again as they found us.

I have no idea how and I couldn't hate more that they did but they found us and separated as we tried to escape.

Jem and Will were first to run, and they managed to stay together. But Magnus and I were separated as a hand grabbed for my wings and I yelled in pain because it was the one that still hasn't healed completely.

I managed to get away but I also couldn't see Magnus anymore. So when I ran I ran alone.

That was three days ago.

I got away with only a few cuts and bruises, along with some missing feathers and a reopened wound on the base of my wings.

However, I have no idea if Magnus got away or not and it's killing me with every hour I have to sit here alone and wait. Wait because Jem sent a massage with the note saying that they are fine and an address where I should hide until they can get to me.

I was covered in blood, with my heart beating too fast and mind a mess when I got it so I did as I was told instead of looking for Magnus. I shouldn't have.

I should have stayed. I should have looked for him. If he's dead it's my fault. All my fault.

And that's one more thing. Death.

I killed them. As I was getting away I killed three archangels with their own blade. A blade that is still under my pillow every night. The worst part is though that I don't regret it one bit. I killed one of my own and I can't find a trace of remorse in my mind. Not even a little part of me regrets it because it was either them or me. I had to choose and I was selfish.

But sometimes it's good to be selfish right? You need to be selfish sometimes.

Me being with Magnus was selfish. Me saying that first yes, returning the first kiss… Everything I did in the last three hundred years was pure selfishness and it is the only time I ever felt happy in my long life.

I looked rolled over on the big bed in a house I have no idea whose it is and just stared at the white wall in front of me. Stared and wished once again.

Wished that the one I love is still alive.

I wished with all my heart.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Sorry for the shortness and just overall suckiness of this whole chapter. I'm just trying to finish it off how I intended to. But look look Alec said he loves Magnus, well more thought then said but still. Anyway one more chapter guys so please tell me what you thought of this one._

_Thanks for reading and please review my lovelies._


	26. Chapter 24

_So this is it guys. The last chapter. I never like endings but what can you do… It has to be done. Anyway since school starts again the day after tomorrow I thought it would be smart to post now so yea, here you go. Hope you like it. _

There were feathers everywhere. White but golden also, with only me standing there in the middle of it. A bloody blade in my hand.

And all because of one fire message.

It came yesterday after a month of nothing. Jem, Will and I met up a while ago but no Magnus. I still didn't give up hope though. Even after we separated again, on our own this time, there was still no word of Magnus.

But I know patience. I've mastered patience after so many years and know how Magnus is when he's on a run. No contact until he's sure he's safe enough. So I could only hope that's the time I haven't heard from him yet.

Archangels came and went but I became pretty good at slipping them and just staying to the shadows, the black of my wings actually helping me with that. It's easier to blend with the darkness if your wings are darkness. So that's what the last month was. Hiding.

Not running, just hiding.

And then he message came with the cracking of flames. Blue flames.

Seeing it I couldn't do anything more but smile because the wait was worth it. He's okay. He's alive.

The massage was only an address. An address only two cities away from where I was actually so it wasn't that hard to get where I needed to.

But my eagerness to see him blinded me for a second and that second was enough to have the archangels on me the next one. But I'm not an angel anymore. I'm a fallen angel now. A fallen angel with nothing else to lose but the one I'm going to meet.

They fell so easy, not expecting me to fight back with a blade of their own making. One by one archangels, but also angels fell under my blade. Feathers falling everywhere and blood covering my own clothes as well as the floor.

I didn't like it. I could never like killing my own. But this was about survival and I had no choice. So one by one they went down until I was left alone in the alley way they cornered me in.

It was a minute of me just standing there before footsteps echoed from behind me. One step, two, three. Soft steps I would know anywhere no matter how much time we spend apart.

And it only took one glance up to see it. The gold and green eyes I've been so desperate to see for a month now. The gold and green cat eyes I always loved so much.

"Alexander." It was a breathless whisper but I still heard it as he came to a stop in front of me. Not even glancing at the dead angels at my feet. I could only imagine how many he had to kill in all the years he has lived. It was a sad thought but a true one nonetheless.

A beat passed as we just stared. One beat of my own heart and his before Magnus opened his mouth and spoke one more, voice still not above a whisper. "Miss me?" And then there was a smile.

I couldn't help but laugh at the words that weren't even close to explaining just how I felt these past weeks but that will still have to do.

"So much." I whispered back and pulled him in for a kiss, feeling as the wind picked up and with that carried the feathers of the fallen along.

But I couldn't care less. I'm home. I'm with Magnus.

After so long I'm finally home.

…

"Did you know that one butterfly in Costa Rica has a life expectancy of about two days, and can live ten days at the most?" Magnus asked as we both just lazed around in bed, neither willing to get up just yet even if it is noon already.

The random fact made make me chuckle as I cast my eyes towards him, only to find his eyes glued to the window. In front of whish of course a butterfly was flying happily.

"Yes I did know that actually." I replied after looking at the colorful butterfly for a second.

"Did you know that I love you?" The cat eyes turned to me this time, that spark still there. The spark that just screams happy. Just like it has been every time we met before and now that we have been actually living together for a month it's there constantly. I couldn't help but love the adoration I can see in those eyes so clearly every time he looks at me. Love and happiness.

A smile tugged at my lips. "I know that too."

A month we have been together. Still on a run but together. We will probably be on a run for the rest of our lives too but it's worth it still. So worth it because it's Magnus and he loves me. And even if were on the run I'm still happy.

Because we're together and it's going to stay that way this time.

"Magnus." I whispered after a few minutes of silence as we just layed side by side, his fingers founding my feathers like they always do as he absent mindedly started stroking my wings so softly it made me feel warm and safe. So relaxed.

He could only hum in response as he turned around to look at me.

"I love you."

Magnus smiled brighter then ever before.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Not sure if you liked this or not. The first part was because I just wanted to make Alec badass. A little bit of influence from CoHF about what desperation and love can make him do. Hope you liked it. Oh and I hope you loved the ending. I'm sorry I won't be writing anything more but this was how I saw it ending. No epilogue this time guys. I'm done. Please leave a review with your thoughts on this chapter and the story in whole. As you all know I live on those. Again hope you liked this._

_So review my lovelies._


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